Rules of the Classroom:
1) Never date single mothers. Dating equals porking.
-Too much of a risk. She already made one mistake and some guy is paying out his asshole for the next 18 years of his life. Probably paying vaginamony, also known as alimony and/or child support. Also the kid will always remain #1 in the relationship. You will always take the backseat. Although single mothers may seem to be "easy," you don't want to deal with this baggage if all you want to do is bang. There are plenty of chicks out there without children... including in Seattle believe it or not.
2) Never spend more than $40 on a date. If possible, let her pay for everything.
-There is no reason you should feel obligated to pay for anything. However, there is nothing wrong with splitting things 50/50. If you can get away without paying a dime...great. More tail for less money bottom line.
3) If she doesn't bang you by the third date, Dump That Bitch (DTB)
-Chances are she has no intention of EVER screwing you. Why should you invest your time when all she just wants to do is string you along. You would be wasting time and money so move on. If she really wants to bang you, she will come to you after the third date ends.
4) No spooning, cuddling, hugging, or staying over.
-Get in and get out. (No pun intended). If all you wanna do is bang, this can send them the wrong message that you want more.
5) Never get involved with a co-worker unless you dont mind losing your job over it.
-In today's world, a man can be burned with sexual harassment very easily. Limit your conversations with female co-workers to the following:
A) Hello
B) How are you (that's optional)
C) Goodbye
6) Women like men who are assholes.
-If a woman sees that you are a pussy, she will walk all over you. If they think that you are a busy guy and hard to get a hold of, the more they will want in your pants.
7) The "Looks/Self-Esteem Ratio"
The number at the top of the ratio is a 1-10 rating on her looks...you want this to be as high as possible. The number at the bottom of the ratio her self-esteem...you want this to be as low as possible. (i.e. a 9/4 is a nice catch. 5/10 ratio would translate to TMW or Too Much Work) Also if the self-esteem digit is too low, it could lead to problems such as a "lick-it-around-the-edge" type of chick.
8) Never buy a chick flowers, candies, teddy bears, etc.
-It is a waste of money. Buying a chick gifts with the intent on getting in her panties is usually a waste. There is no guarantee you'll get some just because you bought her gifts. Doing so would break rule #2 easily. A woman decides within the first 5 minutes of meeting you whether or not she wants to have sex with you and no amount of limo rides, expensive gifts, or fine dining is going to change her mind.
9) Men and women can't be friends.
-For a woman, a guy friend is just a guy waiting for a chance to get in her pants. They are thinking about it all the time. These are usually the same guys who will wait for any sort of breakdown between you and the chick. Then they will swoop in. If you plan on having any sort of relationship with a certain chick, do not allow guy friends. By the way, never be a guy friend.
10) Women like to keep guys on the back-burner.
-Most like to keep their options open...always having someone available on the side. Don't let this be you. You will find it very hard to get out of.
11) Chicks with nice racks will usually tell you about it.
-If you ask a chick if "do you have a nice rack" and she gets offended, it usually means she is a member of SAG. Women with nice racks usually have no problem with talking about it...sometimes in great detail. BOIINGG!
12) Catholic school equals crack in the ass.
-If you are dating (a.k.a. porking) a chick that went to catholic school. She probably likes a nice crack in the ass once in a while, maybe more often. Give her what she wants.
13) Men don't like to dance
-Men will dance to get laid. Women dance to get men and attention. If you are an exeption, you are probably gay or latino.
14) Women by nature are attention whores.
-Self-explanatory.
15) Chicks like to travel in packs.
-This allows the hot one a means to escape. Usually it's the ugly one in the group that will ruin your chance of separating one of them from the group. Your chances of getting laid are better when you split them up.
16) Fat chicks give good hummers.
-Fat chicks love to eat.
17) Never get married untill you are a minimum 25, recommended 30.
-Lack of experience. Wait untill you've had your share of partying. If you are considering a threesome for example, do it before you get married to get it out of your system.
18) Never carry or hold a chicks purse.
-They are testing you. Don't do it, bottom line.
19) Buying Drinks helps.
-Women like to have the booze factor. A little yagermeister works wonders. Also when a guy buys a chick a drink, it means he either:
A) he wants to see her naked
B) he wants to bang her
C) both.
1) Never date single mothers. Dating equals porking.
-Too much of a risk. She already made one mistake and some guy is paying out his asshole for the next 18 years of his life. Probably paying vaginamony, also known as alimony and/or child support. Also the kid will always remain #1 in the relationship. You will always take the backseat. Although single mothers may seem to be "easy," you don't want to deal with this baggage if all you want to do is bang. There are plenty of chicks out there without children... including in Seattle believe it or not.
2) Never spend more than $40 on a date. If possible, let her pay for everything.
-There is no reason you should feel obligated to pay for anything. However, there is nothing wrong with splitting things 50/50. If you can get away without paying a dime...great. More tail for less money bottom line.
3) If she doesn't bang you by the third date, Dump That Bitch (DTB)
-Chances are she has no intention of EVER screwing you. Why should you invest your time when all she just wants to do is string you along. You would be wasting time and money so move on. If she really wants to bang you, she will come to you after the third date ends.
4) No spooning, cuddling, hugging, or staying over.
-Get in and get out. (No pun intended). If all you wanna do is bang, this can send them the wrong message that you want more.
5) Never get involved with a co-worker unless you dont mind losing your job over it.
-In today's world, a man can be burned with sexual harassment very easily. Limit your conversations with female co-workers to the following:
A) Hello
B) How are you (that's optional)
C) Goodbye
6) Women like men who are assholes.
-If a woman sees that you are a pussy, she will walk all over you. If they think that you are a busy guy and hard to get a hold of, the more they will want in your pants.
7) The "Looks/Self-Esteem Ratio"
The number at the top of the ratio is a 1-10 rating on her looks...you want this to be as high as possible. The number at the bottom of the ratio her self-esteem...you want this to be as low as possible. (i.e. a 9/4 is a nice catch. 5/10 ratio would translate to TMW or Too Much Work) Also if the self-esteem digit is too low, it could lead to problems such as a "lick-it-around-the-edge" type of chick.
8) Never buy a chick flowers, candies, teddy bears, etc.
-It is a waste of money. Buying a chick gifts with the intent on getting in her panties is usually a waste. There is no guarantee you'll get some just because you bought her gifts. Doing so would break rule #2 easily. A woman decides within the first 5 minutes of meeting you whether or not she wants to have sex with you and no amount of limo rides, expensive gifts, or fine dining is going to change her mind.
9) Men and women can't be friends.
-For a woman, a guy friend is just a guy waiting for a chance to get in her pants. They are thinking about it all the time. These are usually the same guys who will wait for any sort of breakdown between you and the chick. Then they will swoop in. If you plan on having any sort of relationship with a certain chick, do not allow guy friends. By the way, never be a guy friend.
10) Women like to keep guys on the back-burner.
-Most like to keep their options open...always having someone available on the side. Don't let this be you. You will find it very hard to get out of.
11) Chicks with nice racks will usually tell you about it.
-If you ask a chick if "do you have a nice rack" and she gets offended, it usually means she is a member of SAG. Women with nice racks usually have no problem with talking about it...sometimes in great detail. BOIINGG!
12) Catholic school equals crack in the ass.
-If you are dating (a.k.a. porking) a chick that went to catholic school. She probably likes a nice crack in the ass once in a while, maybe more often. Give her what she wants.
13) Men don't like to dance
-Men will dance to get laid. Women dance to get men and attention. If you are an exeption, you are probably gay or latino.
14) Women by nature are attention whores.
-Self-explanatory.
15) Chicks like to travel in packs.
-This allows the hot one a means to escape. Usually it's the ugly one in the group that will ruin your chance of separating one of them from the group. Your chances of getting laid are better when you split them up.
16) Fat chicks give good hummers.
-Fat chicks love to eat.
17) Never get married untill you are a minimum 25, recommended 30.
-Lack of experience. Wait untill you've had your share of partying. If you are considering a threesome for example, do it before you get married to get it out of your system.
18) Never carry or hold a chicks purse.
-They are testing you. Don't do it, bottom line.
19) Buying Drinks helps.
-Women like to have the booze factor. A little yagermeister works wonders. Also when a guy buys a chick a drink, it means he either:
A) he wants to see her naked
B) he wants to bang her
C) both.
by muffdevil February 14, 2005
by yourlocalpapi March 30, 2019
List of things to appear in a typical episode/complaints about the series in general
1. In every episode: A common high-school stereotype must be brought up and made fun up.
2 In every episode: The "Paradise" of the school must be over-exaggerated.
3. In every episode: Contest. Zoey wins. She gets the greatest prize ever. The end.
Also:
5: Everyone that Zoey hangs out with is sane. Everyone who she doesn't hang out with is either a nerd, a weirdo, a bully, a dork etc. (See number 1)
6. Some weird bright pink, jeep, scooter, bike...thing that Zoey feels the need to ride from one place to another, that's only about one foot from each other.
7. PCA has their own News Channel, their own drink brand, their own movie theater and their own coffee stand...wtf?
1. In every episode: A common high-school stereotype must be brought up and made fun up.
2 In every episode: The "Paradise" of the school must be over-exaggerated.
3. In every episode: Contest. Zoey wins. She gets the greatest prize ever. The end.
Also:
5: Everyone that Zoey hangs out with is sane. Everyone who she doesn't hang out with is either a nerd, a weirdo, a bully, a dork etc. (See number 1)
6. Some weird bright pink, jeep, scooter, bike...thing that Zoey feels the need to ride from one place to another, that's only about one foot from each other.
7. PCA has their own News Channel, their own drink brand, their own movie theater and their own coffee stand...wtf?
-Watches Zoey 101-
-Head explodes-
-Head explodes-
by Ozzy Osbourne October 12, 2008
An introductory course on the number zero offered at some community colleges as part of the popularization of mathematics to an oft-semi-innumerate public.
by MathPlus August 26, 2021
"The on-going on-air adult education course that teaches men how to get more tail for less money...more importantly...teaches women how men really think."
"Teaches you how to have sex without relationships, avoid serious commitments, avoid marriage, avoid the clutches of women who want your money or your time, women who want to waste all that valuable time when you could be gettin some somewhere else"
Taught by the professor Tom Leykis, who is a cunning linguist, master debator, and an amateur gynecologist. Tom Leykis is also a board licensed interpreter who can interpret women into english.
"Teaches you how to have sex without relationships, avoid serious commitments, avoid marriage, avoid the clutches of women who want your money or your time, women who want to waste all that valuable time when you could be gettin some somewhere else"
Taught by the professor Tom Leykis, who is a cunning linguist, master debator, and an amateur gynecologist. Tom Leykis is also a board licensed interpreter who can interpret women into english.
I am a student of Leykis 101.
I am a Leykis 101 graduate.
Leykis 101 airs every Thursday on The Tom Leykis Show.
I am a Leykis 101 graduate.
Leykis 101 airs every Thursday on The Tom Leykis Show.
by muffdevil February 14, 2005
Black Guy 1-"Yo, my nigga, wanna shoot some H?"
Black Guy 2-"Nah, bro, I be playin' mah Wizard 101. It's the shit. All the drug intake I'll ever need, bro."
White Guy 1-"Shit."
Black Guy 2-"Nah, bro, I be playin' mah Wizard 101. It's the shit. All the drug intake I'll ever need, bro."
White Guy 1-"Shit."
by Black Guy 1 February 1, 2009
When a person has the sensation of all-knowing about a subject having gained only a small amount of information about it. Since most introductory courses touch over basics of the entire scope of the given topic, the person immediately feels as if he/she is an expert on it. In conversation however, it becomes clear that this person has absolutely no idea what he/she is talking about.
The order of competence is as follows:
1) Ignorance is bliss: The person knows they have no idea about the subject and acts accordingly.
2) 101 Syndrome: Someone learns a little bit about it from one source or another and feels like they know everything about it.
3) Further education: You learn half the things you were taught were wrong and the other half oversimplified.
4) True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing: When you learn enough about anything, you realize no one has a clue how anything actually works.
The order of competence is as follows:
1) Ignorance is bliss: The person knows they have no idea about the subject and acts accordingly.
2) 101 Syndrome: Someone learns a little bit about it from one source or another and feels like they know everything about it.
3) Further education: You learn half the things you were taught were wrong and the other half oversimplified.
4) True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing: When you learn enough about anything, you realize no one has a clue how anything actually works.
Doctor: "You don't have leprosy. It's the flu. Take these for the fever and stop watching House to take care of that 101 Syndrome."
<Insert that scene from Good Will Hunting here>
<Insert that person that won't shut up about the plot structure and wide angle shots in Good Will Hunting here>
<Insert that scene from Good Will Hunting here>
<Insert that person that won't shut up about the plot structure and wide angle shots in Good Will Hunting here>
by chapasaurus January 13, 2010