Opossum

The world's most underrated animal. An adorable little munchkin who never bites or attacks humans, cannot carry rabies, and single-handedly prevents the spread of Lyme disease by eating upwards of 5,000 ticks in a season. Getting too close to one will cause it to have a panic attack, leaving it open to be picked up and snuggled with. Their only flaw is their short lives, only ranging from 2-3 years. They make of for this by having a shit ton of teeny widdle babies that the mother gives piggy back rides to. They also have cute little grabby hands with built in fingerless gloves.

I FUCKING LOVE OPOSSUMS

by RAZORBURN20 August 9, 2024

Jacks that like Opossums

Jacks who like Opossums are the best people. They're fun to be around and they might send you pictures of cute Opossums when you're sad. The best people to be around, really.

Jacks that like Opossums are the best people.

by Kristallsplitter September 11, 2021

Party opossum

When you eat trash and get hit by car on a week day.

Yo, did you see Jared from recycling Tuesday morning? He got party opossumed after Dave dumped him.

by FuckingCheese August 26, 2018

Opossum Crotch

A condition found in wives and live in girlfriends causing them to roll over and pretend to be sleeping when they know their man is going to try to get intimate.

I’ve started calling my wife Ol’ Opossum Crotch cuz every time I go looking for something in bed she rolls over and plays dead.

by Badger7.62 May 24, 2025