by HomeParkHomer August 26, 2006
a cynic is someone that understands people only give a shit about things they benefit from. life is all about self-preservation and nothing else.
if i like someone, it's because they increase my chance of survival.
if someone likes me, it's because i increase their chance of survival.
cynic
if someone likes me, it's because i increase their chance of survival.
cynic
by coujlia March 20, 2009
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Someone who looks at the world without the blindfold of modern day society. Cynics look at the world like a critic, always judging it. They aren't afraid to speak their minds and give the facts without embelishing them.
Caitlin(non-cynic): Aw, I wish they had a cure for cancer so that poor little boy wouldn't have to die!
Andrew(cynic): We're all slowly dying, why try to prolong the inevitable?
John(non-cynic): Damn it! Why does the sun have to be so bright? I hate it when it gets in my eyes!
Matt(cynic): In a million years, the sun is going to expand and roast the Earth, turning it into a burning lump of rock, so just be glad.
Bob(non-cynic): Jeez, Paris Hilton is sooo damn SEXY!
David(cynic): She's a spoiled, lazy, stupid, ditzy waste of space. She's not even good at anything. She's just famous because her dad owns some hotel that we never even hear about. Plus, she has no boobs.
Andrew(cynic): We're all slowly dying, why try to prolong the inevitable?
John(non-cynic): Damn it! Why does the sun have to be so bright? I hate it when it gets in my eyes!
Matt(cynic): In a million years, the sun is going to expand and roast the Earth, turning it into a burning lump of rock, so just be glad.
Bob(non-cynic): Jeez, Paris Hilton is sooo damn SEXY!
David(cynic): She's a spoiled, lazy, stupid, ditzy waste of space. She's not even good at anything. She's just famous because her dad owns some hotel that we never even hear about. Plus, she has no boobs.
by Alyson Skye January 30, 2010
does not trust human nature
by liz November 10, 2003
A seemingly appealing and useful way of thinking, the positive aspects of cynicism only overshadow the truth that cynics rarely get anything out of life with they way they think (despite believing quite the opposite). Normally accepting humanity as inherently evil, they define good and bad under broad, usually universal terms that immediately apply to everybody, no matter how generous, saintly, or selfless they are. Aestheticism, to a cynic, is not only a childish following, but one which all humans subconsciously live by. Assuming this, they are among a superior group of intellectuals who have "outfoxed" their fellow man. While it is a mark of maturity to be wary of certain people and situations, to think of the entire world as double-crossing greed mongering sinners whose every good deed has an ulterior motive is usually an adolescent stage of thinking that tends to get replaced as the person sees more of their world.
Cynical Man: "Wow, the most beautiful woman in the world! You're perfect in every way and are willing to grant me your heart. Too bad you're going to probably stab me in the back somewhere down the line."
Most Beautiful Woman in the World: "Well alright then, I'll just ask that oh so naive optimist if he'd like to get laid tonight instead."
Cynical Man: "I don't need happiness or pleasure for my remaining 60 years on this planet! All I need is this hole in the ground. It's where we all end up anyway."
Most Beautiful Woman in the World: "Well alright then, I'll just ask that oh so naive optimist if he'd like to get laid tonight instead."
Cynical Man: "I don't need happiness or pleasure for my remaining 60 years on this planet! All I need is this hole in the ground. It's where we all end up anyway."
by J. Literal October 30, 2007
1. An adjective describing a person with sarcastic, witty, quirky, pessimistic who rejects all conventions, whether of religion, manners, housing, dress, or decency, advocating the pursuit of virtue in a simple and unmaterialistic lifestyle.
2. An individual in Urban Dictionary who likes to stir the turd and add sarcastic, funny, and/or assholey defenitions.
2. An individual in Urban Dictionary who likes to stir the turd and add sarcastic, funny, and/or assholey defenitions.
by The Amazing Asshole January 27, 2009