The act of crying and wanking (masturbation)at the same time.
This term comes from 'Ye Olde English' originating from the reign of King Henry VIII and his desperation in not being able to produce a male heir to carry on the Tudor dynasty. It was discovered by a lowly servant who stumbled upon the King in floods of tears and covered in copious amounts of semen. This information was a state secret until 2007 when it was released under Freedom of Information Act.
'Last night I watched Hugh Grant in Love Actually it was a performance of a lifetime it touched me in so many ways I just had to have a crank'
'Every since I heard my Mum and Dad had died in a horrible dolphin accident I've had to crank myself to sleep every night'
'Late at night after his girlfriend had gone to sleep Steven Peters Matthews would slowly crank over her delicate jawline'

Mohinder: Hey guys do you all wanna go to the beach and catch some waves and then afterwards we can go to Chad's house and have communal crank'
Bruce: That sounds totally crazy sick Mohinder I'll give Chuck a ring he loves cranking'

'Man I just watched Schindler's List, it was like totally sad but that little girl in the red coat was so hot i just had to have a crank'.

'The other day I was having a glorious wank in the woods when I saw a cute bunny rabbit get brutally mutilated by a hedgehog it turned my once in a lifetime wanking experience into a mournful cranking session'
by Malcom McCroat February 13, 2009
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n. a crazy person, especially someone who purports to be a scientist or inventor who has discovered the answer to some important problem facing mankind, like curing all diseases, unlimited energy, levitation, aliens, etc.

He defends his claims with the most ridiculous pseudoscientific crankisms, and claims that the government/mainstream science/experts are suppressing the truth.
Sometimes cranks are businesspeople, selling such wares as Q-ray bracelets that align your chi using q ions to give you enhanced energy.

Probably the best known internet crank is Gene Ray, for his Time Cube site.
by Khashishi May 30, 2010
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Guy 1: Bro you know that girl Sophie?
Guy 2: Yea what about her?
Guy 1: Yea she tried to bite my dick off, what a fucking crank.
by Yurbo December 2, 2021
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Crank (verb): stroke, as with a schlong; spank, such as with a monkey; lube (the chassis); beat (the cobb); wax
(tense) cranked, crankin', has cranked; "crankin' the shaft"
With big tits on my mind, I began crankin' my wang.

Since that honey wouldn't give me no trim, I cranked the shaft when I got home.
by wount November 21, 2019
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crank that bitch then supamanthat ho
by ejg1714 October 16, 2007
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A term originated from the music industry to command an individual to "turn up the volume.
Joseph: Hey man this show is going great!
Scott: Yea man but you really need to Crank it on this next song.
Joseph: Sure thing Scott!
by lyfesvrbby May 23, 2008
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someone who is a bit of a twat or annoying you
"shut up you crank"
" your boyfrind is a fucking crank"
by jogonjon February 12, 2009
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