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This theorem states that any woman in the age of 12-22 , that has a father figure absent shall be a discord whore / egirl who talks to a minimum of 7 guys and a maximum of 18.2 relationships annually to get there attention act like you are a father figure and you shall win that ass
The Fatherless Feminine Theorem (FFT) helped me pull a fatherless e girl!
by RaidenCell November 1, 2022
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Infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem

The infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem is a theorem that was sparked in the early 21st century and still leaves philosophers baffled. The base premise of the theorem assumes that a Fruit-Roll Up is rolled around the shaft of a male's penis. This then begs the question, "Is it gay if you were to take a bite out of a Fruit-Roll Up that was miles in diameter but at its center, wrapped around a penis?"

Philosophers argued for years over whether the action would be gay and the following theorem was created:

As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches infinity, gayness approaches zero.

As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches zero, gayness approaches infinity.

It is key to note that no matter how thick and large in diameter the Fruit-Roll Up is, as long as its center is rolled around a penis, it will always be some form of gay.
"I saw a massive Fruit-Roll Up in my front yard today and was about to take a bite but then remembered about the Infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem and did not want to be associated with any form of gayness."
by fruitrolluptheoreminventor March 21, 2022
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Triple Pre-Nut Theorem

(N) The event of getting three nuts out when your girl says she's coming over so you can have more safe sex or shoot blanks.
Sheeit i gotta get my triple pre-nut theorem out before kylee comes over.
by Scoocher2677 September 3, 2017
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the Wicker Chair Theorem

People often jump to a conclusion about something based on what they see in front of them. Said conclusion is usually not based in fact.
(setting- a hotel room in Mackinac Island)

Me: Where is the TV?

My mom: They don't allow TVs on the island.

Me: Yet another application of the wicker chair theorem!
by tiffany0128 May 21, 2011
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The Repeating Idiocy Theorem

The Repeating Theorem discusses how stupid people will repeat the same dumb choices because they're too idiotic to learn from consequences.
"I want to get back with my ex." - (Idiot, probably named Brad)

"YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! YOU'RE AN IDIOT! I MADE THE REPEATING IDIOCY THEOREM TO SHOW HOW YOUR DUMBASS CONTINUSIONLY MAKES THE SAME RETARDED CHOICES!" - Me (Fuck you guy, probably named Brad, you idiot)
by Theoremist November 22, 2023
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The Fish Piano Theorem

The theory that a fish species, given an infinite amount of time, will create an exact replica of a piano. Then due to the existence of a piano, there will eventually be a fish version of Mozart that will create his pieces exactly.
"You ever heard of 'The Fish Piano Theorem'?"
by FishPianoTheorem November 22, 2024
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Morris's Theorem

Every single, solitary, girl -- no exceptions -- looks better with longer hair than shorter hair.
I thought this girl was bad, but then I remembered Morris's Theorem and thought about how she's wasting her potential.
by Jimmy Cooks 17 February 11, 2025
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