An intensely relaxing massage given by Ed Crankshaft to his family and friends. When he does it, they sigh in relief. Most notably given when one of his family or friends is stiff or tired at the end of the day. An Ed Massage is very soothing. It often includes the sea foam green lotion known as Edward Ocean. If you want something that won't take a lot of time, don't head for a massage parlor - try an Ed Massage. And remember, Ed Crankshaft sent you!
Pickles: Hey Ed, I'm so sore. Chasing Homer around the garden really took a lot out of me. Its rough being a cat.
Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)
Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!
Ed: Okay, easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's feet) You poor little chick. Daddy knows what to do.
Ed: (while sitting in front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.
Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.
Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.
Pickles: Right on! Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!
Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)
Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!
Ed: Okay, easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's feet) You poor little chick. Daddy knows what to do.
Ed: (while sitting in front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.
Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.
Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.
Pickles: Right on! Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 27, 2011
When someone texts a friend multiple times, creating a constant vibration on the receiver's cell phone so they can massage various parts of their body.
Friend 1 - Hey man, i have a really bad stomach ache, mind giving me a text massage?
Friend 2
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Friend 2
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by Dyl-pod February 26, 2010
When two wrestlers , say Vern and Maria are wrestling , when either of their legs/hands are rubbing or touching against the other's groin , it is observed as the "penis massage"
by sunshine selma November 9, 2007
by mikemarshall3 August 20, 2008
The practice of a female sitting on a partner's face for oral sex. The giver of the cunnilingus is thus receiving the "face massage."
by mhonfleek December 17, 2015
To get beaten up by a group of guidos, or Italians in general, usually armed with baseball bats or 2x4s. On the rare occasion can also be mob affiliated.
Dave: I was walking down the street in Nolita when some of those goddamn guidos dragged me into the alley and gave me an Italian Massage.
John: Ever heard of running dumbass?
Dave: You have no idea how much weed I smoked that day you douche, try running after 6 blunts of skunk...
John: Ever heard of running dumbass?
Dave: You have no idea how much weed I smoked that day you douche, try running after 6 blunts of skunk...
by Sir.Davey May 31, 2011
massaging activity involving three people. no more. no less. 3 women. 3 men. 2 women 1 man. 2 men 1 woman. whatever the grouping - all must engage in a massaging activity with one another for the activity to be a 'masssage a trois'. otherwise see therapeutic massage
through the steam from the hot tub he could see a draped massage bed. there she layed, clothed only in a black lace thong. her hips propped by a pillow. music began to play in the background and the lights dimmed. through the candlelight he could see a sillouette of a man approach her. he watched as the man placed steamed towels across her back. motioning for him to join in the massage. then, warming the oil they began to massage her. there hands sliding up under the black lace slowly pulling them down her legs. MASSAGE A TROIS...both massaging her.
by YOUR976BABE October 12, 2007