a girl with an egg shaped face, usually with a chin that drips into her neck
Lisa Lampanelli? That humpty dumptress with no chin? Yeah-- I always get her mixed up with Chaz Bono.
by bacardehali March 20, 2012
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The act of performing a number two; a dump; relieving one's bowels
by TW1ST3R November 25, 2012
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This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.
Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?

The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.

Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.

The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.

Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.
by Stoney69 December 18, 2020
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The fuel of nightmares, typically an egg or a previous English king.
by poroekd October 14, 2022
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A lifetime diagnosis resulting from roll in the hay with the town bicycle, your mom, Trina from down the block, etc characterized by occasional flare ups of “fun bubbles” full of disease in the nether regions - tldr- genital herpes
Little Ron caught himself a nasty case of the humpty bumps down at your moms house and can’t get himself a dose of the Valtrex til next week- got himself more blisters than Usain Bolt on marathon Monday
by TallulahTabasco132 February 4, 2022
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A Reverse Humpty Dumpty is a man whose head is shaped like that of an egg and who also has very little or no hair on their head BUT they are rocking a rather thick beard.
Have you seen how he looks? He's totally a Reverse Humpty Dumpty!
by XxOwOxX July 25, 2022
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My humpty ass forgot to save my paper and I lost it when my computer crashed.
by Taco Tea Co. May 12, 2006
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