A day where you HAVE to masturbate, the date is May 7th
"Holy fuckin shit bro National Masturbation day is today"

"cool"
by Glizzy_lizzy September 13, 2022
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An anti-masturbation cross is a device used by wankerphobic Christians. It combines the cross with straps to keep people from the age of 5+ from masturbating. It should be ended to help end wankerphobia.
John's parents are going to buy an anti-masturbation cross. I'm praying for him. I think Seb may have tipped them off.
by A_Manwithhiv April 22, 2021
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A person who plays on their cellphone while on the toilet
I think there is cellular masturbation going on in the stall over because he is laughing for no reason whatsoever.
by jondich February 2, 2021
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Talking just to please yourself.
Twitter is a great place to see audible masturbation at work, Or a trump speech.
by Z_PW January 14, 2021
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ASHIPIN masturbation is a technique that involves stretching both legs to bring you closer to orgasm.
He used to do ASHIPIN masturbation a pot.
by Hoevarun June 17, 2022
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A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.
Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020
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When you are a socially inep involuntarily celibate due to poor dating and social skills, and sees porn every day and leaving cum stains everywhere in your house nonstop, as a way to cope with loneliness. Never goes out, doesn't exercise nor does improve social skills, and yet this special type of breeds can usually be found moderating around Discord, Tumblr, and Reddit as power-hungry mods or working remotely in a part-time job as a twitter moderator.
Jerry never finds a way to prevent chronic masturbation. He clearly didn't recover after getting rejected by Stacy for not being himself a Chad, as he believes.
by TheKamikazeMonkeys February 28, 2023
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