ass contractions 

when an intense shit attack overwhelms you to the point where you'll shit in the river and wipe your ass with a rock.

after eating two dozen hot wings and jalapeno poppers, I had ass contractions like there was fire in my ass.

ass contractions by zimdaddy August 16, 2003

Ass Contractions 

When someone has severe gas or shit pains thay they feel like they are in labor.

Oh man, I can barely walk to the bathroom! These ass contractions are killing me!

Ass Contractions by Cazador301 May 22, 2015

ass contraption 

when you wipe your bum with a hedgehog

Use an ass contraption to wipe your ass is when you use a hedgehog touch surface to wipe that raggity shit stains from your ass

ass contraption by Hintonater November 22, 2017