The base unit of length in the International System of Ass Units (ASS-I). Equivalent to around 12.457 meters or the distance between Dr. Kamal's office and the BME lab.
Mike: "Hey bro, where did you park today?"

Marek: "Approximately 23.4 Ass Meters from here"

Mike: "I see what you did there you fuck!"
by supersubmarinesemen November 8, 2011
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A scale - typically between 1 and 100 - by which an individual or group is measured, based upon how much of an ass they are being.
Stop picking on me - you are at about a 75 on the ass meter right now.
by JSlo November 20, 2013
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A substitute for a thermometer temperature usually read in Celcius or Farenheit. The swamp ass meter goes from the number 1 to 10.

The degree in which to measure one's level of swamp ass achieved. Normally measured from 1 being the lowest level to 10 being maximum.
Noodle: "Thorpe, I'm coming to visit you in AZ tomorrow, what should I pack?"

Thorpe: "Noods, the swamp ass meter is at 9.5 today, you better just bring shorts and flip flops."

Noodle: "Crud, it's only 2.5 here in Utah...Do you have any Gold Bond for me to powder with?"
by pronomore July 30, 2009
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