Emperor Judge- Would you
like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by
two midgets wearing elf hats?
First convict (with all the menacing humorless brevity he can muster)- I'll take firing squad, I'm firing squad
hard. I was born a marine, so I don't have to actually join the armed forces to be what I'm destined to be.
Emperor judge- Okay, you got it, firing squad it is for you.
Emperor judge to second convict- Would you
like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by
two midgets?
Second convict- I've always been a roughneck, so I'll take hanging by the neck to show em' even if I die, I can still
hang.
Emperor judge- Okay, we will
hang you, it should be fun!
Emperor judge to third convict- What about you, do you want firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by
two midgets wearing elf hats?
Third convict- I'll take getting sawed in half by
two midgets wearing elf hats for 5,000 Trebek!
Emperor judge- I don't think I've ever met a convict so eager to die. Before you start thinking this is going to be
funny, you do know how
long it is actually going to take two midgets to
cut you in half and split you don't you? They have to reciporicate about four times for every one time a regular person has to do it, it's not going to be fun for you, but I'm going to order a feast to watch my favorite kind of execution.