Rule Number One 

No fat chicks.

A: "I'm gonna go talk to that girl over there playing video games. She looks lonely."
B: "Better not do that, man."
A: "What? Why not?"
B: "Rule Number One."

Rule Number One by yaolinglingjiu October 17, 2009

Rule Number One 

In the rules for life, the first one is always this: Don't Get Caught. Other rules may vary by location and other factors, but especially in college when numerous activities of questionable legality are occurring rule number one is don't get caught.

Rule number two is frequently Don't Die, unless not dying would interfere with rule number one.

Jason: Put that pipe away while we're driving through the speed trap, I don't want the cops to see and pull us over.
Sarah: Gotcha, following rule number one.

or, on the outside end of a phone call from jail:

Jason: You broke rule number one!

Rule Number One by StoleTheCookies September 26, 2009

Rule Number One 

To Whovians (or anyone who spends way too much time around one): THE DOCTOR LIES.
To everyone else: The first, often primary, rule in a list.

Whovian 1:Rule number one?
Large chorus of Whovians: THE DOCTOR LIES!
Non-Whovian: What the eff?.

Rule Number One by Mels 2 November 27, 2011

Rule Number One 

Don't post useless definitions on UD. Namely you, chris.

omfg i gotz teh bestest ideea evar! i iz gona postt thaat im coolz undur teh definition "Rule Number One"! geenius!

Rule Number One by Karonaway December 3, 2007

Rule number one 

Don't let loon in your poon!

"AMANDA that guy is bat shit crazy, remember Rule number one: Don't let loon in your poon. " -Megan
"MEGAN THAT GUY IS STALKING YOU REMEMBER RULE NUMBER ONE. " -Amanda

Rule number one by Megstalean July 23, 2016

Rule Number One 

Don’t Die

Mom: “If your friends jump, would you?”
You: “Of course, just gotta live by Rule Number One”

Rule Number One by HoolioG July 10, 2020

Rule Number One 

I am number 1!

Here are the rules: Rule Number One - I'm number 1!

Rule Number One by Christopher Tucker April 8, 2004