junk armor Share definition Flag anything that protects the genital area, particularly for use against unwanted contact. "Dude, when I had that threesome, that guy's junk was touching mine. Eww, I should have worn my junk armor." junk armor by The Orchid Queen January 19, 2008 0 0 Get merch Get the junk armor mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch