spasturbation 

1. Masturbating in such a way that you inadvertantly hurt yourself.
2. Being caught masturbating in a very odd way that looks like you are a spastic.

oow, my eye! that was spasturbation!

Guy: Yeah, it was crazy seeing him spasturbating.

spasturbation by Ramz January 10, 2007

Pasturbation 

Obsessively romanticizing the past.

Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.

Pasturbation by fraying August 31, 2010

Shatsturbation 

When you masturbate while shitting, so both explode at the same time.

After last nights shatsturbation, I thought I could die happy. It was pure bliss.

Shatsturbation by prosperoust February 4, 2009

Sadsturbation 

masturbating while sad.

"My girlfriend broke up with me, so im left to sadsturbation."

Sadsturbation by a guy who is a guy February 18, 2015

sadsturbation 

Masturbation while in a state of emotional discord as a futile means to pacify pain.

You remember that weird, but kinda hot sadsturbation scene with Naomi Watts in Mulholland Drive?

sadsturbation by RoniNix September 18, 2011

Simsturbation 

When porn just doesn't seem to cut it anymore...

Omenchild: Yeah Garrett jacks off to Sims.

Sawyer: Ewwww gross!

Garrett: It's just Simsturbation.

Omenchild: Oh well in that case it's fine.

Simsturbation by -[GAREBEAR]- July 28, 2009

slasturbating 

masturbating in your sleep

Jimmy fell asleep with his dick in his hand and woke up with semen all over him and exclaimed, "Shit, I was slasturbating again!"

slasturbating by shittydrumsalot October 26, 2009