1 definition by zoidburg_is_not_a_fan
The sadomasochistic act of inserting a live lobster into one's anus, prior to anal intercourse.
The aim of "Assing the Lobster" is for the penetrator to achieve orgasm without having their penis irreparably mutilated by the increasingly agitated lobster that is residing the host's rectum.
This incredibly reckless sexual act usually ends up with the host dying of internal haemorrhaging and the partner severely injured and mentally scarred. The lobster is generally indifferent once released from the host's devastated bunghole. 100% Would. Not. recommended.
The aim of "Assing the Lobster" is for the penetrator to achieve orgasm without having their penis irreparably mutilated by the increasingly agitated lobster that is residing the host's rectum.
This incredibly reckless sexual act usually ends up with the host dying of internal haemorrhaging and the partner severely injured and mentally scarred. The lobster is generally indifferent once released from the host's devastated bunghole. 100% Would. Not. recommended.
"Karen made me play assing the lobster last night. My cock looks like fucking slinky now."
"Jeez, man. Fuck Karen!" ...
"That was the problem! At least she's dead now"
"Jeez, man. Fuck Karen!" ...
"That was the problem! At least she's dead now"
by zoidburg_is_not_a_fan September 18, 2019