Cock wipe. This is what you do if you take a nasty shit but then you realize that there is no toilet paper to be found anywhere in the bathroom. It should be regarded as a last resort, and unlike what is suggested in example 2, an assisted cock wipe is NOT okay.
1) Shit, there isn't any toilet paper left...I better just do a cock wipe.
5 minutes later...shit, i have a tiny dick.
2) Guy 1: DuDe! Do you have any toilet paper in your bathroom?
Guy 2: (coming into the bathroom) Nah man, I got you covered though.
Guy 1: WHOA?!? what are you doing? Are you gay???
Guy 2: No, don't worry, it's just an assisted cock wipe.
3) Guy 1: You don't have any toilet paper in your whole house???
Guy 2: Nope, that's wasteful. I'm eco-friendly.
Guy 3: Huh?
Guy 2: Cock wipes.
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