yahoo! answers phil j's definitions

Poor Pinch

Pinching a loaf midlog which leaves extensive poop residue around the anus, creating the need for at least a half-dozen wipes.

I ran out of toilet paper today because of a poor pinch.

My girlfriend wanted to try anal sex today but opted out after she experienced a poor pinch.

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J December 31, 2009

Ace In the Hole

A family-friendly synonym for sexual intercourse. Appropriate for school, work, and church.

Steve: "That was a great sermon... how was last night?"
Me: "I had my ace in the hole. It was amazing... but certainly not as amazing as Christ's love for us."

Principal: "Good morning Miss Daisy, how was your date with Mr. Rodman yesterday?"
Miss Daisy: "Oh, he's such a handsome gentlemen. We finished with his ace in the hole."

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J November 6, 2009

TWP

Texting While Pooping

Today, I was doing some TWP because I needed to let my boss know I was running late for work.

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J December 19, 2009

Sexy Topless Dancer

A nice and discreet way of referring to a female with an STD.

Phil: "Hey man, have you gotten around the bases yet with that hot babe you met at the bar last week?"

Steve: "No brother, I slid into third because I heard she's a sexy topless dancer."

Phil: "Ahhh OK. You don't want those crotch critters."

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J February 24, 2009

PPF

Acronym for Pre-Poop Fart, the flatulent signalling for the beginning of a large-intestine processional.

Me: "My favorite bone in your body is mine"
My Girlfriend: "Ohhh ohhh harder Philly, harder!!"
Me: "Sorry about the PPFs, do you want a Cleveland Steamer?"

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J December 17, 2008

Splooge Deuce

Masturbating while pooping. Killing 2 turds and 1 bone. The splooge deuce can be enjoyed by both males and females. It is most enjoyable when you time your orgasm as you pinch a turd off.

My girlfriend and I were making out but because of her menstrual cycle and the diarrhea that accompanies it, we could not make love that night so instead we went into the bathroom together and watched eachother enjoy a splooge deuce.

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J January 1, 2009

Pornogram

A 3-dimensional hologram of at least one person engaging in a sexual act.

Porn of the future.

I masturbate every night to the pornogram my girlfriend gave me before she left for college.

by Yahoo! Answers Phil J December 5, 2010