An area of largely
uninhabitable wasteland to the north of England largely
populated by alcoholic gingers.Young
Scotsmen are encouraged to travel to England at an early age to seek their
fortune. They can be seen emerging from cardboard boxes at night in all large English cities in order
to stumble around picking fights with buildings and asking passers by for money. The English have always described these
human waste as beggars but recent
research has shown that the money given
to them represents
around 40% of Scotlands GDP.
Many of the hundreds of Scots who can read and write are angry about having
by the English for their oil but the English are now in the process of letting them
mop up the last few drops
that are left.
Scotsmen traditionally wear a kilt
(from the Gaelic
meaning "short skirt worn for easy access
to the genitals by turd burglars
") in order to signify to everyone that they have come
out of the closet and are available
to pack fudge
at a moments notice.
The Scottish practice
of playing the bagpipes (originally an English invention for the cleaning of drains) allows the average Scotsman to become competent
at giving a blowjob
giving a hand shandy
to two others. A similar behaviour known as tossing the caber
involves simulating gay sex with a well endowed
man whilst other men in skirts watch.