von groovy's definitions

the cave of no return

When one engages in anal sex who has not done it before. Once you've put a part of your body you are never the same again and there is no return to who you were before.

Kerry knew that once she allowed Hans to enter the cave of no return he and she would never be the same and their relationship will have transformed into something else.

by von groovy June 22, 2019

emotional gymnastics

These are a series of skilled movements involving all sorts of feelings and thinking in order to get oneself successfully through a negative situation with another person. It's tough and you have to be quick, strong, and flexible at all times to win this competition.

Sharon: "Did you hear about Ashlynn?"
Lisa: "I loathe that bitch. She tried messing with me last month and demonstrated that I can do emotional gymnastics at a gold medal level! She started crying and hyperventilating. I was in top form!"
Sharon: "She's dead."
Lisa: "Hmmm. Are we going to Chick Fil' A or what? I'm starving over here."

by von groovy July 2, 2024

sheshine

The glow you have after spending time around the girl you love.

Hans: "Damn! Mitchie sure looks happy today!"
Mateo: "Yes, he does. He was around that girl he adores this morning."
Hans: "Ah! He's got that sheshine so bright I need sunglasses!"
Mateo: " I wish I was capable of feelings."
Hans: "Smile, nothing matters."

by von groovy June 20, 2024

heine hymen

The final symbolic vestige of integrity and dignity that people have before they allow their "backyard" to become a playground for others' body parts, various tools, and terrified rodents. It's the anal maidenhead.

Muriel: Gee Whiz, Cindy! Sit down! You're acting like you have ants in your pants!
Cindy: Oh, Muriel! I let Salvatore do things to me last night and I can't sit down. It's horrible!
Muriel: So he finally took your heine hymen! He'll never respect you again and probably told all the fellas by now. At least that's what he did to me...

by von groovy June 6, 2017

Get your nopes up

Something to tell a friend when they foolishly have their hopes up and it just ain't gonna happen.

Bart: "I'm gonna ask Trixie to the prom! We'll get a limo and stay at the Four Seasons! I'll get my weenie wet in all the right ways!"
Archie: "Slow down, B-man! Trixie is going with the Ad-man! You'd better get your nopes up and back to your garbage reality."

by von groovy August 25, 2018

Fuck you and your Teeth

This is what you say to someone who insults you as their teeth are participants in their mouths assault against you.

Mandy: "Listen trick! You have no play! Now go suck some disturbing dicks in the bus station to go get your next latte!"
Mandy: " Wow! I just said your anklets were tacky. Fuck you and your teeth! I hear your dad's glory hole is lonely...!"

by von groovy July 5, 2024

well, that nappened...

This is what you may declare when you completely and accidentally take a nap and wake up.

Alberto had been going at it for two days straight. He came home to get a quick bite before he met his friends before his gig on the night shift. As he was savoring the mac n cheese bites on his sofa he closed his eyes and awoke almost two hours later to a flurry of texts and missed calls. He giggled to himself in a restful manner, "well, that nappened..."

by von groovy September 11, 2024