13 definitions by turkturkleton

Top Definition
A mysterious creature long thought to be extinct until December of 2009. The Snooki is now very famous, but no one has any idea why. The wild Snooki is somewhere between 4-5 feet tall with dark orange skin and hair that is poofed up at the top, and speaks in incoherent gibberish. The Snooki has been spotted in seaside heights, New Jersey, Miami, Florida, and Florence Italy. While the origins of the Snooki are unknown, it claims to be of Italian descent and from New Jersey, but it is most likely of Mexican descent (this may explain the fabled chupacabra) and from New York. The wild Snooki is predatory in nature and ususlly hunts at sleazy night clubs that are overpopulated by spiky-haired, Ed Hardy wearing douchebags. The wild Snooki's preferred method of killing it's prey is to rape males(a ritual which it calls smush -smush), using it's myriad of STDs to kill them. The Snooki's diet is made up almost entirely of alcohol and semen. If attacked by a Snooki, the most effective way of getting rid of it is to punch it in the face. Recently, a creature thought to be related to the Snooki has been discovered, called the Deena. The Deena is similar to the Snooki in height and appearance,as well as mating and hunting rituals, except it's face resembles a gremlin and is known to perform "smush-smush" on both men and women. The most accepted theory on the origin of the Deena is that a Snooki will transform into a Deena either when it gets wet or is fed after midnight.
Ex 1:Sizzler owner: you gotta see this, this thing destroyed my restaurant!

Randy Marsh: What the hell is it?

Sizzler owner: They call it a Snooki, it's very famous.

Randy Marsh: Why?

Sizzler owner: I don't know!!!

Snooki: Snooki want smush-smush!

Mr. Stotch(Butters' dad): It's raping me!!!

Randy Marsh: Shoot it!!!

(guy shoots at Snooki with shotgun and misses)
(Snooki jumps out window)

Ex2: Kyle: What's that behind you?

Cartman: Nice try Kyle.

Kyle: No seriously, what is that?!

(Cartman turns around)

Cartman:Dude, What The Fuck Is That?!

Snooki: Snooki want smush-smush!!!


Kyle: Oh god, guys get the hell out of here!

Stan: Why?

Kyle: Just get the hell out of here!

(Kyle transforms into Jersey alter-ego, Kylie-B)

Kylie-B: Get the fuck out of here ya piece of gahbage!

Snooki: (incoherent gibberish)

Kylie-B: You're muff cabbage! You got cabbage on your muff!

Snooki: (more incoherent gibberish)

(Kylie-B punches Snooki in the face)
(Snooki runs out crying)

Ex3: Mysterious Chinese Man: Remember, do not get your Snooki wet or feed it after midnight, unless you want it to turn into a Deena.
by TurkTurkleton September 01, 2011
The baddest motherfucker in the entire galaxy. This motherfucker is an even more powerful than Yoda, who has 800 years of experience. Mace Muthafuckin Windu is the only Jedi badass enough to carry a purple lightsaber. In addition to being a Jedi Master, Mace "Sam Jackson" Windu is also the most notorius/legendary pimp in all the galaxy. Although it has not been confirmed, Mace Windu is rumored to have a wallet that reads "Bad Motherfucker". Unfortunately, Mace Windu was killed by that little bitch Anakin Skywalker and that pedophile Palpatine.
Ex 1: Mace Windu is one bad motherfucker.

Ex 2: Mace Windu: (referring to Anakin) The force is strong with this muthafucka.

Ex 3: Mace Windu: What does Yoda look like?!

Palpatine: What?!

Mace Windu:What does master Yoda look like?!

Palpatine: Um... he's short... and green...

Mace Windu: Does he look like a bitch?!

Palpatine: What?!

Mace Windu: Does Master Yoda Look like a bitch?!

Palpatine: What?!

Mace Windu: Say what again, I dare you, I double dare you!
Does Master Yoda look like a bitch?!

Palpatine: No

Mace Windu: Then why are you trying to fuck him like a bitch?!

Ex 3: (after disarming Jango Fett on Geonosis)
Mace Windu: There's a little passage I got memorized, Ezekiel 25:17: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who shepherds the weak through the valley of shadow, for he is truly his brother's keeper and a finder of lost souls. And I will strike down with great and furious anger those who would attempt to poison my brothers, AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS MACE MUTHAFUCKIN WINDU WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE DOWN UPON THEE!!! (cuts Jango's head off).

by TurkTurkleton August 28, 2011
A term coined by the great Charlie Kelly meaning someone who possesses inferior intelligence and a lack of common sense, similar to a donkey, or activity that would suggest such.
Dennis eating cereal while driving was completely Donkey-brained.
by TurkTurkleton June 06, 2013
What Wilford Brimley has.
I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetis.
by TurkTurkleton August 16, 2011
The cause and solution to all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson: To Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.
by TurkTurkleton August 17, 2011
Borderline-retarded teenagers (and sometimes twenty-somethings) who think that having "swag" holds any meaning in the real world. Swagophiles have become very common in social media recently, especially facebook and tumblr. Swagophiles are known to post sentimental BS over a filtered instagram photo in an attempt to sound deep, when really it is just a cry for attention. Swagophiles also have the tendency to believe that having "swag" is more important than anything, including, but not limited to intelligence/good grades/education, a unique personality, an actual talent, friends, etc.
Retarded Swagophile#1: Who needs good grades when you have swag?

Retarded Swagophile#2: Who needs a condom when you got swag?

Retarded Swagophile#3: Who needs a personality when you got swag?

Forever Alone Swagophile: Who needs friends when you got swag?

Retarded Swagophile#4: Oh my god, look at this quote I posted over an instagram photo, I'm so deep!!!
by TurkTurkleton July 13, 2012
Motley Crue.
If you looked up sex, drugs, and rock & roll in the dictionary you'd see a picture of Motley Crue. In the 80s and 90s all four members of Motley Crue got more ass than a toilet seat and did enough drugs to kill a wild Keith Richards (and almost Nikki Sixx in 87).
by TurkTurkleton August 19, 2011
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