538 definitions by tom

Baltimore

I have lived in Baltimore all of my life. There is absolutely nothing good about this city. 50% of its residents are below the poverty line. These same people are uneducated to the extreme and proud of it. It is these people who claim to be "da best".

In fact there is no way that this city can compete with other functioning cities. There is no way that this city is going to survive the rise of Europe and the rise of Asia.
This is a dangerous city. If you walk from one end of this city to the other, you are guaranteed to get robbed, beaten, or killed. That is not a joke.
There are about 300 murders a year. The city will not get over its racial divisions. Unemployment is high. Drug addiction is a severe problem. The high African American population and the white response to them, sad to say, is one of the major causes of the city's decline.

Oh you're from Baltimore.
I went there last month and got my wallet stolen.

by tom February 27, 2005

magic lantern

a trojan hores made by the fbi that logs the key strokes of a infected computer

dont open your porn spam you might catch it

by tom November 2, 2003

Punt-Fucking

A post-intercourse act performed by the male, primarily characterized by a kick to the female vagina.

I was punt-fucking Jill last night and my foot got caught in her vagina.

by tom November 18, 2004

lagnaf

let's all get nude & frolic!
(this is a better definition when the word is used in the office)

LAGNAF - "Let's all get nude & frolic"

by tom January 20, 2004

APT

amillennial postapocalyptic transformaton

I pried the gun from my dead friend's hand. His face was a puddle of goo. I turned the gun toward the advancing army of APTs and shouted, "This is for Larry!!!"

by tom March 30, 2005

liquid pearls

Only the finest semen in the world. Only available from Tom M’s penis.

She tried to swallow everything, but I managed to leave my "signature finish" and place my liquid pearls around her neck.

by tom January 26, 2005

Arthur Dent

2nd last remaining earth creature. Survived the destruction of earth (...was destroyed to make way for a new space-hyper bypass)

Arthur Dent could never get the hang thursdays.

by tom August 2, 2004