A pathetic, sad, lonely guy who over-compensates for his short stature by endlessly spewing word excrement out of his mouth every chance he gets. Mike is an insincere, insecure narcissist who acts like he is very intelligent and caring, but really is just stupid. And he can't get girls because he's fat and ugly. The only redeemable features of him are his decent dick and his extensive list of things that are easy to make fun of.
"Hey that guy over there looks OK I guess"
"No..he totally looks like a Mike. He is so short! And he won't stop talking to us.."