1 definition by thisisnotaverygoodname

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Q: How do yo confuse a blond?
A: Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Q: What did Jimmy's grandma get him for Christmas?
A: Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving day.

Q: How do you make an electrician sad?
A: Kill his family.

Q: How do you kill a blond?
A: There are many different ways, but all of them would be wrong, because murder is illegal.

Q: What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.

Q: What did the women say after her husband hit her?
A: Nothing. She was physically abused for 35 years before committing suicide.

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: It can't be, because numbers are not sentient and do not fear anything.

Q: What does baseball and the Holocaust have in common?
A: They are both sports, except the Holocaust.

Q: Why do black people love chicken?
A: Because it tastes good.

Q: What's worse than rainy days?
A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

Q: Why did the Jew pick up the one dollar bill?
A: He dropped it.

Q: How did the fat man survive the plane crash?
A: He didn't he died like everyone else.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was angry. Really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0-200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!"
The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway.
He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife died in a car accident."

A man walks into a bar and orders six shots.
The bartender asks, "Rough day?"
The man replies, "Yes, very rough."
The man later went home and hung himself.

Did you hear about the blond who jumped off a bridge?
She died.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have a gun
Get in the car.

Anti-jokes are hilarious.
by thisisnotaverygoodname November 30, 2011

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