t wade's definitions

Alabama

A State and State of Mind - and some might say a Black Sucking Hole. Born & raised... I then managed to escape for 20 years. Later I somehow got sucked back down to Dixie for what was supposed to be temporary... that was 5 years ago (Bama years = dog years, so that's 35 actually). It has beautiful country, ocean, flat lands, mountains, waterfalls, etc. And even FREE thinkers but only in Birmingham on the Southside. Politically the state is firmly in the hands of the GOP. White democrats (aka Dixiecrats) rushed like lemmings from the Democratic side to the Republican as a result of the GOP’s rhetoric on states rights. By capitalizing on white fear, they successfully rode the civil rights movement in the 50s and 60s to victory. In Alabama, it being the BUCKLE of the Bible Belt, there are many puritanical religious zealots that think Bill Clinton put an x-ray vision satellite in space that flies over every night and counts their guns. No lie... there are those who wrap their pistols in aluminum foil so they won’t get counted.

Now sugah, don't be forgittin' to wrap that pistol back up in aluminum foil when you git done shootin'that possum. Yes, Clinton's satellite flies over Alabama tonight so now don't forgit. And watch out for that damn sink hole! It keeps gittin' bigger and bigger every day.

by T Wade October 1, 2005

hige

According to one source on the internet hige refers to the creases across the top of the legs of vintage Levi jeans - usually the so called "big E" variety. It's like where the jeans bunch up when you sit down. However, I think it can also be used to refer to any person, place or thing that has a distressed, rather lived in look.

Damn. Laura is givin' some major hige today. Must be the drugs and that wild life she's livin'.

by T Wade October 17, 2005

Ham

A shortened slang term for the city of Birmingham (i.e. Alabama's largest city). Among other things, the town is noted for a large 50 foot iron man who's ass is always hanging out as he gazes over the city. He's known to the locals (and a few Romans) as Vulcan, the god of steel.

Yep, one of these days I'm going to kiss Vulcan's hard arse goodbye and split this Ham!

by T Wade October 17, 2005

Taupe Star

A term used to describe a person’s anus or sphincter muscle; derived from the general color and shape of this particular orifice.

Rule #1 - Always keep your Taupe Star shiny and clean.

by T Wade October 20, 2005

Big E

Term used to describe a type of Levi's Jeans produced from about 1930 to 1969; logo on famous Red Tab is printed as lEvi (i.e. upper case e) hence the name. Often associated with American West cowboy mythology. Also see hige.

The Japanese have gone cowboy crazy for Big E jeans. I just sold a pair on eBay for $500!

by T Wade October 21, 2005

Lynne Cheney

Previous author of juicy soft porn LESBIAN novel set in the pioneering old west titled, Sisters. Current wife of Dick and second lady only to Pickles ( see laura bush). Also chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts (have you applied for your grant yet?). In 2000 during an interview, Cokie Roberts asked about her openly gay daughter. She adamantly refused to answer the question and admonished Roberts for even bringing up the subject.

Lynne Cheney wanted to tell the publisher to “go fuck yourself” when she learned they were going to reprint her 80s novel about lesbians of the old west. She held her tongue since that was her husband's favorite line. Instead she said, "How dare you mention the word lesbian to me. You cock sucking shit stain.”

by T Wade November 5, 2005

bird flu

The latest Republican fear mongering talking point. Primary aim: Scare Americans with talk of pandemic in order to change the subject from Scooter Libby's indictment, Supreme Court nomination failure, Bush's approval rating at 38%, GOP decision to cut senior drug benefits, Karl Rove still under investigation, etc., etc.

White House Subject: bird flu
George W. Bush to Karl Rove:
"Don't forget to call Condi and remind her to talk about the horrors of the birdy flu panademic DISease. Does anyone in Amurica have this thing yet? We need pictures, TV interviews. This birdy thang is gonna save our arses."

by T Wade November 5, 2005