A small, highly selective, incredibly kick ass college in upstate New York. Known for its renown writing intensive philosophy and its extaordinarily attractive student body, Hamilton College has been molding some of the brightest and most sexually appealing Americans since 1793. Recently, there has been some confusion about Hamilton's incredibility as a result of Colgate University achieving more popularity as a result of their division I sports programs and flamboyantly assertive and ambiguously homosexual students. Hamilton students simply do not see the need to vocalize their superiority because the fact that they all graduate to become loaded, happy, and influential speaks for itself. Literary revolutionary Ezra Pound, famed psychologist B.F. Skinner, and Jesus Christ are all graduates of Hamilton College.
"Hi, I go to Colgate University."
"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over all the sperm in your mouth. I'm going to go back to Hamilton College and not have sex with my roommate."