15 definitions by shitstained mattress

Overused, coloured punchline that has been hijacked by the left to reinforce political correctness and silence opposition. Often used in situations that are about as racist as third-way feminism is an equality movement, in somewhat of a double entendre where the person slinging it about is the actual racist.
"In the grim dark future, there is only racism, sexism, ageism, sizeism and about as many genders as there are grains of sand on the planet."

"You racist cis white male! REEEEEE!"
by shitstained mattress December 17, 2017
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Adjective used to emphasise your frustration with someone when "motherfucking" just doesn't cut it.
"Getcho burlapticking ass over 'ere boi"

"Ayo shut those big, juicy, burlapticking lips up"

"Burlapticking, fiddlesticking, finger-licking son-of-a-cunt"
by shitstained mattress September 12, 2020
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Adjective used to emphasise your frustration with someone when "motherfucking" just doesn't cut it.
"Getcho burlapticking ass over 'ere boi"

"Ayo shut those big, juicy, burlapticking lips up"

"Burlapticking, fiddlesticking, finger-licking son-of-a-cunt"
by shitstained mattress September 12, 2020
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Used to describe a male orgasm, whereby upon reaching ejaculation, a particularly large volume of semen is exerted from the bellend, usually accompanied by lacrimation as the man's entire life achievements and sense of self-worth flash before his eyes in an ephemeral episode of acute post-nut clarity.
"I'm about to blunderbust a nut!"
by shitstained mattress February 17, 2020
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Derives from the term 'shipwreck'.

The result of peeing and pooing at the same time under precise circumstances that causes the poo to be almost lost in the merky water – baring an eery resemblance to a shipwreck.
John: "There you go, mate. Sorry for taking so long..."

Lee: "It's no bother – WOAH!"

John: "Huh?"

Lee: "Why the blooming fuck is there a shrunken replica of the Pirates of the Carribean set in my toilet?"

John: "Fuck, I thought I already flushed! Shitwrecks can be hard to spot..."

Lee: "You better flush this thing into Davey Jones' locker right now!"
by shitstained mattress April 24, 2017
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A cooler way of saying "Calm"; meaning "It's cool/fine/alright" or more often for this variation, "Affirmative".
"Ayo come play Roblox at 6?"
"Calmo."

"We just played Roblox for 12 hours straight," said the little virgin, "We need to get a job!"
"It's calmo -- life finds a way, innit?"
"Same time tomorrow?"
"Calmo."
"Stop saying that."
"Calm."
by shitstained mattress September 9, 2020
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A cooler way of saying "Calm"; meaning "It's cool/fine/alright" or more often for this variation, "Affirmative".
"Ayo come play Roblox at 6?"
"Calmo."

"We just played Roblox for 12 hours straight," said the little virgin, "We need to get a job!"
"It's calmo -- life finds a way, innit?"
"Same time tomorrow?"
"Calmo."
"Stop saying that."
"Calm."
by shitstained mattress September 9, 2020
Get the Calmo mug.