2 definitions by scraps992
An infamous chain of pet stores. They've reached popularity by having the employees be excessively rude to whoever enters a Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers store; the most common greeting being, "Get the fuck out of here, you idiot!" that is usually accompanied by being kicked out.
Some have managed to get past the rude employees to find that there is only one can of dog food in each store, and it costs a million dollars. Nobody has ever bought one.
Another calling card of Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers is that they fuck your pet if you ever go into the store. If you didn't bring your pet when going in, they'll find it and fuck it, wherever it is.
All Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers stores have a trademark of having a gigantic yellow sign accompanying each building that reads, "Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers" in big letters.
Even though Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers has never made a profit, business is going great for them. Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers has several million stores all over the country and is showing no signs of ever going out of business. They have Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers buildings neighboring other Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers buildings they are doing so well. Every Star-Bucks coffee shop has at least five Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers surrounding them.
Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers has received several complaints and demands of changing their strategies and ethics, all to no avail. It seems that Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers will be around for decades longer.
Some have managed to get past the rude employees to find that there is only one can of dog food in each store, and it costs a million dollars. Nobody has ever bought one.
Another calling card of Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers is that they fuck your pet if you ever go into the store. If you didn't bring your pet when going in, they'll find it and fuck it, wherever it is.
All Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers stores have a trademark of having a gigantic yellow sign accompanying each building that reads, "Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers" in big letters.
Even though Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers has never made a profit, business is going great for them. Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers has several million stores all over the country and is showing no signs of ever going out of business. They have Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers buildings neighboring other Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers buildings they are doing so well. Every Star-Bucks coffee shop has at least five Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers surrounding them.
Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers has received several complaints and demands of changing their strategies and ethics, all to no avail. It seems that Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers will be around for decades longer.
Damn those Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers. They fuck your pet. Dog food costs $1,000,000! That's clearly overpriced!
Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers may not only be the worst pet store in the world, but possibly the worst store in general in the world.
Don't like it? Fuckin' screw! Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers!
Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers may not only be the worst pet store in the world, but possibly the worst store in general in the world.
Don't like it? Fuckin' screw! Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers!
by scraps992 March 23, 2011
When one attempts to release a short loud collection of methane gas, otherwise known as a fart, but releases a concentrated sphere of fecal matter into ones underwear. The collection of feces is usually leathery in texture, thus preventing excessive smearing, but it will stain.
The difference between a buttplosion and a shart is that it is more than possible for a shart to leak out quietly and discreetly. A buttplosion is incredibly sonorous, and cannot be done discreetly as it is a powerful, full-force anal gust that pushes the turd into the pants.
After a buttplosion it is imperative that the victim behave nonchalantly. It is a guarantee that the buttplosion was heard, but the crowd will only think the victim farted. Laugh at yourself, or pretend it wasn't you; but escape the premises as soon as possible, because the resulting anal waste will cause a foul odor to accumulate around the company you're keeping. Go to a safe and secure location, get some rubber gloves, and go through with the disgusting and sickening act of cleaning up the large bits of poop that has most assuredly spread copiously in your underwear. It is probably best that that the soiled underwear be permanently discarded after the incident, for there will undoubtedly be stains.
The difference between a buttplosion and a shart is that it is more than possible for a shart to leak out quietly and discreetly. A buttplosion is incredibly sonorous, and cannot be done discreetly as it is a powerful, full-force anal gust that pushes the turd into the pants.
After a buttplosion it is imperative that the victim behave nonchalantly. It is a guarantee that the buttplosion was heard, but the crowd will only think the victim farted. Laugh at yourself, or pretend it wasn't you; but escape the premises as soon as possible, because the resulting anal waste will cause a foul odor to accumulate around the company you're keeping. Go to a safe and secure location, get some rubber gloves, and go through with the disgusting and sickening act of cleaning up the large bits of poop that has most assuredly spread copiously in your underwear. It is probably best that that the soiled underwear be permanently discarded after the incident, for there will undoubtedly be stains.
-Did you see Bill run out of here, what was that about?
-He farted and I think it was a buttplosion. He seemed pretty worried and scared.
-Poor bastard.
-He farted and I think it was a buttplosion. He seemed pretty worried and scared.
-Poor bastard.
by scraps992 March 17, 2011