3 definitions by pescado_tortuga
The Pescatuga Tales are known by only a few in this world, two to be exact. These tales are the collection of dozens of child rapes, committed by two notorious figures known as the Tortuga, and the Pescado. The compilation of the tales are named after the rapists themselves, and the name inspires fear in the youth-filled communities which were attacked. These attacks began in 2019. So who were they? Well, Tortuga and Pescado both lived similar lifestyles, each brought up with a furious hatred of the school system, specifically the Spanish branch of education. They first met late in 2018 when a ghastly Spanish teacher partnered them together to solve a treacherous problem that consisted of Spanish. From then on, they became friends, and bonded over wonderful music. Flash-forward two months; they have now became good friends and in a sudden turn of events, play a game of Clash Royale together, a vicious card game which involves the annihilation of towers to succeed, much like a upscaled 9/11. They fought together, and found that they were the perfect team; they demolished all opponents before them and lay waste to countless towers. Unconfirmed sources say that Pescado first said 'we raped those children' upon winning, in a nonchalant manner. But soon, they found that they both had a love for rape, especially child rape. After countless rapes of minors, they went on to bigger game, for the children on Clash Royale could not be raped to satisfaction. They moved on to Roblox.
Again, a violent game which too is populated by children. Pescado and Tortuga found their first victim on this game, and so the first chapter of the Pescatuga Tales truly begins.
Their first victim, an 8 year old by the name of Katie, was fishing in a pool, when Pescado and Tortuga first approached her. They engaged in small talk, and then in a flash, jumped upon Katie, viciously resizing her squirming body as she screamed for help. Katie was never seen again. After Katie, they moved on to other targets, which are explored in details in the other chapters of the Pescatuga Tales. In one instance, they raped the entire elementary graduation class of 2019, and those students had been resized so badly they could not urinate or excrete ever again for all life. It is very clear that the Tortuga is a much more fearsome warrior than the Pescado, and is without a doubt, a much better person in every aspect. Every aspect. The Duo themselves have found themselves to be much closer friends and have bonded terrifically over the committing of these rapes.
P.S: Pescado hopes that the Tortuga and he could rape children in Roblox this weekend.
Pescatuga Tales:
School Announcements: Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. However, before we go on, please give a minute of silence in remembrance of the Pescatuga child rape sprees of 2019.
Students: *Absolute silence aside from tears dropping and sniffles as they remember the rape experience. Several students break down, sobbing.*
Their first victim, an 8 year old by the name of Katie, was fishing in a pool, when Pescado and Tortuga first approached her. They engaged in small talk, and then in a flash, jumped upon Katie, viciously resizing her squirming body as she screamed for help. Katie was never seen again. After Katie, they moved on to other targets, which are explored in details in the other chapters of the Pescatuga Tales. In one instance, they raped the entire elementary graduation class of 2019, and those students had been resized so badly they could not urinate or excrete ever again for all life. It is very clear that the Tortuga is a much more fearsome warrior than the Pescado, and is without a doubt, a much better person in every aspect. Every aspect. The Duo themselves have found themselves to be much closer friends and have bonded terrifically over the committing of these rapes.
P.S: Pescado hopes that the Tortuga and he could rape children in Roblox this weekend.
Pescatuga Tales:
School Announcements: Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. However, before we go on, please give a minute of silence in remembrance of the Pescatuga child rape sprees of 2019.
Students: *Absolute silence aside from tears dropping and sniffles as they remember the rape experience. Several students break down, sobbing.*
by pescado_tortuga March 21, 2019
she's a fun-sized person with a heart bigger than the average heavyweight boxer and hands so small and cute, you feel your own hands beginning to sweat just looking at them. she's absolutely sweet and cares an astronomical amount for her friends. she has quite a few friends and makes every one of them feel amazing. she's loyal and logical, and totally lovable. she loves her music. if you ever know a caitlyn, don't you fucking dare to hurt her because when you treat her right, she's the most loyal friend you'd find.
person #1: so i searched up 'the best fucking friend evER' and the first picture to pop up was that girl in the choir with the small hands.
person #2: you mean caitlyn? yeah that search sums it up pretty well.
person #2: you mean caitlyn? yeah that search sums it up pretty well.
by pescado_tortuga March 19, 2019
basically one amazing person who is such a bueno amigo that between a billion dollars and her, people would choose her. she's smol but she'll rape you in a fucking flash and will start blasting joji while she's totally resizing all of your holes. me and her have raped and will rape countless kids on roblox, so don't doubt our vicious rape ability. she graduated top of her class in the rape academy and is essentially /THE RAPIST./ Other than her rapey history, she is loyal beyond belief, loves her friends and hates anything related to education. although she denies it she's like 900 iq and is damn cool. she loves her emoticons (.u.) and alongside her rape degree, owns a PHD in emoticons. but she's actually pretty damn sweet and can't bring herself to kill an ant lmao. long story short caitlyn is a rape god in 5'' 3' package, is mind-blowing loyal and honestly is someone you can relate to so much. she's worth a quadrillion dollars
person 1: oh shit dude run, its caitlyn
person 2: rUN RUN RUN SHES GOING TO RESIZE US LIKE SHE DID THE ENTIRE GRADUATING ELEMENTARY CLASS OF 2018
person 1 and 2: *run*
caitlyn: *teleports behind them* yARDI KNOW
person 1 and 2 were found dead, cause of death found to be their assholes resized an inch too much.
person 2: rUN RUN RUN SHES GOING TO RESIZE US LIKE SHE DID THE ENTIRE GRADUATING ELEMENTARY CLASS OF 2018
person 1 and 2: *run*
caitlyn: *teleports behind them* yARDI KNOW
person 1 and 2 were found dead, cause of death found to be their assholes resized an inch too much.
by pescado_tortuga March 20, 2019