paul fleming's definitions

Slut Discount

This is the discount available as a reward for staying faithful to a prostitute. If you frequently visit the same whore, you might be offered a "slut discount" for your loyalty. Very rare, but from time to time it does happen.

Simon: I've been seeing the same prostitute for about 3 months now and last night she said that because I was a regular client, and loyal, I deserved a "slut discount". I now only have to pay £20 for the full works, it used to be £30.
Lee: Thats brilliant, what are you going to do with the money you save?
Simon. Well, its my wife's birthday soon, so I might take her out for a nice meal.
Lee: Your such a romantic, she is lucky to have you.
Simon: Yeah, I know.

by Paul Fleming July 14, 2006

Spaghetti Man

1.) A man who is very thin, tall and bendy, often found on the Northern coast of South America.
2.) A person who is clearly insane and who has been released from a mental home without full tests being done.
3.) An Italian male who is a hit with the ladies due to his diet of spaghetti and olive oil.

Francesca: Mama Mia!! Look at that crazy man with no clothes on, he is making silly noises like a deformed dog, whats wrong with him?
Lisconelli: He is a "spaghetti Man" so don't be mean, he can not help being crazy.
Francesca: I wasn't being mean! You always look for the worst in me Lisconelli, i'm getting sick of it now!
Lisconelli: You are over reacting again. Maybe you are a "Spaghetti Man"!

by Paul Fleming July 30, 2006

One Horse Town

This is the name given to describe a small town with high unemployment. These towns are said to be very common in Wales, but are also found in Ireland, and Scotland where education is very limited.
Also a name given to a town that has a small population.

Steve: Since I moved here from the city I am begining to see that everyone is stupid, there are no jobs, and guys are marrying their own sisters, whats that all about?
Colin: This place is backwards, these people don't know any different. This is a "One Horse Town".
Steve:, Yeah, you are right, but the problem is everyone thinks they are the jockey.

by Paul Fleming July 19, 2006

Slut Doctor

These are doctors that help all females give birth. 9 months after a female has whored around, she will be puished with a small creature that will develope into another human. The person who is paid to help remove the creature from the slut is often reffered to as a "Slut Doctor", because his only aim is to help the slut.

Stacey(pregnant): I'm so nervous, when those guys were waitng in line to have sex with me 9 months ago I never thought that i'd end up in hospital, I'm so scared!
Tracey: Don't be scared babe, the "Slut Doctor" knows what he is doing. He will get that creature out of you in no time!
Stacey: I hope so! I look like an elephant.

by Paul Fleming July 13, 2006

Slut Jockey

A male with a reputation of sleeping with the opposite sex as frequently as he requires. Normally the "slut jockey" isn't particularly fussy about his partner. As the name suggests, he is like a jockey, but instead of a jockey riding 5 horses on a single day (ie. at Aintree), this male may ride up to 5 females. He also stays in character by telling his partner how well they did, and may even give them a pat on the top of their head to show his appreciation of their efforts.

Damien: Look at that guy over there, those girls are
desperate to be fucked by him.
Daryll: Yeah, thats Nigel, he's fucking more girls a day than I get to talk to, he's a Slut Jockey.
Damien: Oh, I see. Lucky Bastard.

by Paul Fleming September 5, 2008

Trampoline Whore

These girls are very, very rare. They will ride on top of their partner for extended periods of time, and will only stop when the male gives her permission to stop. Ironically the word tramp is used in the description of the word.
Normally found on the South coast of England.

William: It was my lucky night last night, I met a cracking blonde and it turned out she was a "Trampoline Whore"!
Gregg: You lucky Bastard, I thought those girls were just a myth, like the boomerang whore or the slut bunny.
William: Well I'm not a liar, she rode me all night and only stopped when I told her To make me a bacon butty.

by Paul Fleming July 10, 2006

Whore Magnet

This is the definition of a very elderly wealthy man who is very close to death and is an easy target for a "money slut" or any other female who is only concerned with his finances. These old fellows are not embarresed by the obvious fact that their new partner is a whore and is wishing him dead so she can get his money. He is infact just happy to have some sexual contact in his twilight years.

Maria: It's a shame Albert is getting used by that little tramp Tracey, she is 29 and he is 80, do you think he knows that she is only interested in his money?
Sally: Of Course he does!! But when he is sucking her tits like a new born baby, I doubt he really cares. Good luck to him, he will be dead soon so let him enjoy what he has left!
Maria: Yeah, you are right, but that old "whore magnet" should have a little more respect for his wife. She told me she can't sleep at night with all the screaming coming from Tracey and Albert.
Sally: Maybe she should move into the room next door?

by Paul Fleming July 30, 2006