patrick w. crabtree's definitions

Woodstuck

The mindset of a Baby Boomer who cannot mentally escape his or her personal 60s life experience.

"Man, that cat's Woodstuck -- he's still listening to Vanilla Fudge every day!"

by Patrick W. Crabtree January 13, 2008

Methevangelist

A leader of the large churches who broadcasts on television and consults with the President of the United States before going for a homosexual massage and a hit of Methamphetimine.

"The Methevangelist of our church says that God watches us mastubate."

by Patrick W. Crabtree November 6, 2006

Obalming

A process of mass hypnosis whereby the general public is mentally mesmerized through the soft repetition of the words "change" and "hope". Victims of this manifestation become zombie-like non-thinking beings, all of whom gape and stare just as if they have been embalmed.

"You should have seen coming out of the voting booths, walking like Frankenstein and staring straight ahead -- clearly, some heavy-duty obalming has transformed them all from their normal, thinking selves."

by Patrick W. Crabtree April 14, 2008

reTardis

A British time machine that malfunctions at every level of performance.

Given all the trouble that Doctor Who has controlling the Tardis' destinations, they should have called it the reTardis.

by Patrick W. Crabtree January 17, 2008