A european woman who often has pronouciation problems with the english language and her speech failure inadvertantly ends up sounding like dirty talk.
Olga: Oh no, I think you may have burned something on the stove. Oh my, it smells like a skank.
Daughter: ?You mean skunk.
Olga: I don't like it when you speak erotically to me.
Daughter: ?You mean erratically.
Olga: You, shat up.
Daughter: I sweared, I sorry. *mutters under breath* Evra.
horrible, horrible drivel.
(Actually, I like the saga. I found it ENTERTAINING. Unlike, say, anything written by Margaret Attwood, efin snore. However, I just want to be cool like everyone else, and rag on the books.)
Many people believe twilight is killing vampire culture thought when you boil it down there's nothing wrong with the actual storyline. Sadly the book suffers from a dumb-down teen-fiction blandness of atmosphere and a writing style with a complete lack of character.
Yet, it could be much worse for vampires:
Animé Samurai Robot/Vampire/Catpeople. *Deep Shudder* I think I just puked a little in my mouth.
the deliberate malicious rearranging of furniture to create a tripping hazzard for unsuspecting victims.
I went into the living room to put back the phone without flipping the light switch and became a victim of feng shui when I faceplanted onto the recently relocated aerobics trampoline.
stop counting the cutlery, mother!
three samll spoons are missing, two big spoons, and one fork, where are they? WTF.
a moment in your life, something said, something done, or something you feel responsible for that you'd do anything to take back.
Friend 1: You seem down?
Friend 2: Remember that time in the school cafeteria when the two mice jumped out of my lunch bag, and I screamed and I started a stampede of mass hysteria, and they evacuated the school, and the fire department came, and the foreign kid who speaks no english started crying, and fainted, and got a concussion and had to be hospitalized?
Friend 1: Blip?
Friend 2: Let's never speak of it again.
Involving straight jackets and feathers.
"I can't wait for marathon cockteasing to be recognized as a legitamate olympic sport, I'd take home the gold fo' so' baby!" -- A. Whoreski.
The place where Toronto, Canada ships it's garbage.
Mayor of Toronto: Oh no! What are we going to do with all this garbage?
City Councillor: No problem. It's okay, eh, we can just ship it to Detroit, MI.
Mayor of Detroit: Yeah, guys, it's okay with me.
Mayor of Toronto: Good work Councillor.
*privately to Councillor*
Mayor of Toronto: Now if only we could convince them to trade Hockey Teams with us.