old lang guy's definitions

slut in a box

The "private live show" booths at the back of some porn shops and strip clubs, where a girl strips, masturbates, and/or inserts dildos on the lighted side of the glass, while the paying customer jacks off in the dark on the other side of the glass. A few of them are fronts for prostitution or have glory holes, but most are just places for a guy to have a quiet private yank on his crank while a pretty girl shows off to him.

Sandy got tired of guys trying to get under the G-string when they tucked in a bill, so she started working at the slut in a box club.

He didn't have the money for a hooker or even for a rub-and-tug so he ended up going to a slut in a box.

by old lang guy September 25, 2006

monkey fuck

Shortened version of the backstage expression "That looked like a monkey fucking a football" -- i.e. "Oh, wow, that was so godawful awkward and stupid that I had to stare at it." Among stage crew and roadies, a monkey fuck is not just any mistake or accident. It's something that you couldn't possibly avoid that forces you to look really stupid in front of a large audience.

"I hear load-in took a while."

"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."

by old lang guy February 19, 2008

tit slinger

Stripper or slut-in-a-box worker. Mostly you hear the expression from old gomers nowadays. From the old usage of "sling" to mean delivering or presenting, so in 30s hep jive, waitresses were hash slingers, bartenders were booze slingers, and so on.

Grandma got through the first part of the Depression slinging milk, but the dairy went bankrupt, so she slung hash for a while, till she found out she could make a lot more at the burly-q as a tit slinger.

by old lang guy September 18, 2008

gomer

A guy too old to be a geezer; a geezer the other geezers think of as the old one.

That old guy crowd that comes in to drink coffee about ten every morning is usually okay, but they've got a couple real gomers in with them.

by old lang guy October 12, 2006

douchebag

Nick Bilton, whose March 10 article in the New York Times managed to explain how to be a digital/electronic douchebag for the audience of the New York Times.

Nick Bilton, of the New York Times, is such an utter douchebag that, in a section of the country and a social class noted for its production of douchebags, he is an instructor of others in how to extend douchebaggery to the digital realm.

by old lang guy March 20, 2013

rule of half past four

The rule that if you listen very seriously and intently, with a deeply caring expression, to anyone until 4:30 a.m., they then must have sex with you. Sometimes a verb as well. Comes from the original, good version of Bedazzled, with Peter Cook (as the devil) and Dudley Moore (as the guy being tempted).

"Have you thought of just applying the rule of half past four?"

"What is it?"

"If you can stay wide awake and gaze at her thinking 'You are fascinating,' the whole time she talks, for everything she says, no matter how pointless and no matter how stupid, till half past four in the morning, you're in." (Not an exact quote)

I wanted her so bad that one night when she was drunk and dumping all this self pity, I kept telling her what an interesting person she was, until I finally half past foured my way into her pants.

by old lang guy August 31, 2007

Run the Gauntlet

Variant spelling of "run the gantlet." Spelled either way, it's pronounced gauntlet. A gantlet is a double line of people with clubs, whips, tomahawks, fraternity paddles, or other weapons; the poor bastard being punished runs between the lines and everyone hits him as he goes by. Depending on weapons and circumstances, this has been used as an initiation, a test of courage, a way to decide which prisoner to let go (to take the message back that you are holding hostages), or a way to execute someone without making any one person responsible. Often used to describe what the in-crowd does to a noob before accepting him -- "Making him run the gantlet" is a stronger, more violent expression than "making him pay some dues" or "putting him through all the hoops."

The Indians made old Zeke run the gauntlet and when he made it through with just some cuts and a lump on his head, they let him go.

My first year on the job they made me run the gantlet, but after that I was in.

At Kappa Kappa Kappa they make us pledges run the gauntlet for three months, and then on initiation night they make us run a real gantlet; I got through with my ass only getting about five hits, but my roommate fell down and they flayed his pathetic ass.

by old lang guy January 11, 2008