Skip to main content

old lang guy's definitions

monkey fuck

Shortened version of the backstage expression "That looked like a monkey fucking a football" -- i.e. "Oh, wow, that was so godawful awkward and stupid that I had to stare at it." Among stage crew and roadies, a monkey fuck is not just any mistake or accident. It's something that you couldn't possibly avoid that forces you to look really stupid in front of a large audience.
"I hear load-in took a while."

"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
by old lang guy February 19, 2008
mugGet the monkey fuckmug.

tugovers

A pair of shorts so short (esp. in the crotch) that it's physically possible to have intercourse with a woman wearing them without having to pull them down.
See any Girls Gone Wild video for plenty of girls in tugovers!

We were making out and I got two fingers around one side of her tugovers.
by old lang guy August 27, 2010
mugGet the tugoversmug.

fork stuck in the road

A song line that seems to indicate ignorance, sloppiness, or lack of education on the part of the songwriter.

According to urban legend, the line in Green Day's "Good Riddance (The Time of Your Life)" "a fork stuck in the road" says that the fork is "stuck" rather than just "in the road" because of the mistaken idea that people somewhere back in "olden days" used to stick dinner forks into the road when they changed directions; the claim is often made that one or another member of Green Day told such a story during an interview, but if so there doesn't seem to be any such interview online. It really doesn't sound like them; they're a pretty bright bunch of people.
Alanis Morisette's "Ironic" is a fork stuck in the road; nothing she describes in the song is ironic.

"Hey, that doesn't mean what he thinks it means!"
"Relax, dude, at least it rhymes, and it's just a fork stuck in the road!"

Every time you hear the rolling thunder, you don't need to run, because the lightning already struck and you're still here to hear it.
by old lang guy September 30, 2006
mugGet the fork stuck in the roadmug.

fork stuck in the road

Any exceptionally stupid or illiterate phrase found in a pop song. Particularly if it's then defended or expounded upon in various "meanings of lyrics" sites or in fan writing. A lot of pop stars were so totally created by parents/managers/agents/etc. that they went straight from a suburban bedroom to the celeb suites without having read a book or talked to a real person on the way, getting all their alleged education from other pop songs and tv.

The words "fork stuck in the road" originally occurred in a Green Day song, and in a later interview (urban legend has it) the songwriter came up with a long story about how people on journeys would stick a dinner fork into the road to show they'd been there or some such -- apparently being unaware that a dinner fork was originally a "forked spoon", i.e. one that split, the way a forked stick or a forked road splits, and that a "fork in the road" is a place where you make a decision, not a milestone or boundary marker. (I can find no evidence that any such interview occurred, but it seems to be widely believed in).
"Hey, somebody should tell Alanis that every time you hear the rolling thunder, it means the lightning already missed you. And read her a definition of ironic."

"That's like so unfair! She was saying that like, he runs away when there's no reason to! And she was making fun of the way people use the word ironic wrong!"

"Naw, it was just another fork stuck in the road. She's the fork stuck in the road goddess."
by old lang guy September 17, 2008
mugGet the fork stuck in the roadmug.

Work Songs

Also songs used when people needed to work in rhythm. Many are familiar folk songs. Like

--sea chanteys where the lead singer's solo line would get everyone set, and then they'd all sing (and therefore exhale) when they put out their effort pulling on a line.

-- field hollers that were used to keep lines hoeing a field up with each other. (And field hollers, speeded up and with some rhythm and some guitar added, might have been one of the origins of the blues, and thus of most American popular music since 1920)

-- capstan chanteys that kept people pretty much walking in the same rhythm while they turned giant cranks.

Very often work songs were subversive, making fun of the boss, complaining about the conditions, and sometimes carrying instructions for prison breaks, union organizing, or the Underground Railroad.
Work songs examples:

Sea chantey,

Leader (while the end man belays, and everyone walks up the line and gets a grip): Reuben was no sailor ...

Crew (Singing while they pull the line back): Ranzo, boys ranzo!

(later in the song it turns out Reuben is now the captain ...)

Field holler ...

Leader: (while the crew picks up their hammers, stretches, and gets ready to swing): When Israel was in Egypt land ...

Crew (hitting on the drills on let, peop, and go): LET MY PEOPLE GO!

Capstan chantey, used to turn the winch to move the locks on the canal ...

Leader (while crew breathe and get set): I got a mule, her name is Sal ...

Crew (Walking forward, pushing on the capstan bars): FIFTEEN MILES ON THE ERIE CANAL!
by old lang guy July 14, 2008
mugGet the Work Songsmug.

slut in a box

The "private live show" booths at the back of some porn shops and strip clubs, where a girl strips, masturbates, and/or inserts dildos on the lighted side of the glass, while the paying customer jacks off in the dark on the other side of the glass. A few of them are fronts for prostitution or have glory holes, but most are just places for a guy to have a quiet private yank on his crank while a pretty girl shows off to him.
Sandy got tired of guys trying to get under the G-string when they tucked in a bill, so she started working at the slut in a box club.

He didn't have the money for a hooker or even for a rub-and-tug so he ended up going to a slut in a box.
by old lang guy September 25, 2006
mugGet the slut in a boxmug.

pube jeans

Jeans so low cut that some pubic hair curls over the belt buckle; thought to be daring and sexy by a certain kind of younger woman.
That can't be her real hair color!

It's not, check what's sticking out of her pube jeans.
by old lang guy October 17, 2006
mugGet the pube jeansmug.

Share this definition