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7 definitions by oh welles

 
1.
A term that is used to describe a quantity. Generally the quantity is greater than a dozen, but limited to a managable number. This term is quite obscure but very noticable when put to use, thus the power of the word. More often than not, it comes to use in the sporting world, however, it has also been overheard among beer drinkers trying to describe (usually a lie) how much beer they can consume in a night or weekend.
Coach - Ok, we're going to run scads of 200s today.
Runner - Could I not run this workout?
Coach - You didn't run yesterdays workout.
by Oh Welles August 31, 2006
 
2.
A way of excusing ones self to go to the bathroom. Derived from the location where Elvis took his final breath and also a scene in "True Romance", starring Christian Slater, where he talks to Elvis' ghost in the bathroom. Commonly used by people who can appreciate Elvis as a singer and find humor in his lifestyle. So far, hipsters haven't caught on to the phrase, which is a good thing.
Johnny Lockjaw, after having a few beers at the local gin joint, "Oh man, I gotta go talk to Elvis"
Auf Deutsch, "Ich mochte bitte mit Elvis Sprechen"
by Oh Welles August 30, 2006
 
3.
Taking an alternate route that has the potential to get you to your destination quicker than taking the standard route. There is also the potential that you will enounter some obstacles along the way, like numerous stop signs, stop lights, and difficult left turns due to non-stop cross-traffic.

Its common to drive recklessly while taking the James Bond route, much like 007 is forced to do when being chased through narrow streets in Rome, Paris, Madrid, etc.
Hwy 41 was so backed up, we decided to take the James Bond route and beat all those suckers sitting in traffic by a good 20 minutes.

He thought he was slick by taking the James Bond route, but ended up hitting fifteen stop signs in the subdivision and he got a ticket for doing 20 over in a 25. What an idiot.
by Oh Welles March 19, 2008
 
4.
NDW
Neue Deutsche Welle music. German new wave music from the early 80s, influenced by British new wave of the same era. This music provides club-goers in Germany some cheeky sing-a-longs to party with. On a good night, if you walk into a club, you might hear the whole place singing along as if they were watching Bayern München in a Champions League match.

To American audiences, only Nena's '99 Luftballoons', Falco's 'Der Kommisar', Trio's 'Da Da Da' (from the VW commercial) are known NDW songs. Other songs and groups in this genre include Markus 'Ich Will Spaß', Spider Murphy Gang, 'Skandal im Sperrbezirk', and IXI 'Der Knutschfleck'.
American tourist in Berlin, "Man, that was a blast last night. What was that music they were playing?"
German host, "NDW, Neue Deustche Welle. Old songs from the 80s. Don't worry about it."
American, "Yeah, but American radio sucks."
German, "Ok, I see your point. Buy a NDW CD on ebay and you'll be happy."
by oh welles October 10, 2006
 
5.
Guitar player who has gone from being called "God" by playing a bastardized form of the blues in garage bands (Yardbirds) and psychedelic hippie bands (Cream, Blues Breakers, Blind Faith, Derek and the Domino's), to a solo artist using the same ploy of playing the white man blues. Since his hey day in the mid 70s, he's cautiously made albums that cater to his fans, never venturing too far from his middle of the road style blues and mid tempo rock he started playing in the 70s. His fan base is primarily white guys who claim to like the blues, but only if played by 'guitar heroes' and would never venture to the south side of Chicago, or stray from Beale St in Memphis. They like their blues done beer commercial style.

Its questionable if any of his material from the last 25 years has any relevance musically, with the exception of "Tears In Heaven", a quiet, heartfelt song about the death of his toddler son. So called "die hard Clapton fans" hate this song of course, becuase it introduced Clapton to a middle of the road audience and was a big hit, oh, and because "it didn't rock, dude".
Frat boy in 1978, "Eric Clapton is the best blues player there is, man."
by Oh Welles September 07, 2006
 
6.
Quasi-metal band that started the late 70s, featuring the 'virtuoso' guitar player, Eddie Van Halen and frontman/clown David Lee Roth. Some of their early songs (Running with the Devil, Jamie's Cryin') are listenable to most people, but over the long haul, their juvenile themed songs get old. The guitar wanking gets even older.

They developed huge following of high school loser guys who dreamed of being guitar wankers themselves, often playing air guitar in their bedrooms on weekend nights instead of getting out of the house and interacting with human beings. Said fans were disillusioned in the mid-80s when the clown left the circus and Sammy Haggar, an even worse singer, joined. His forte prior to joining Van Halen was recording juvenile themed songs like "I Can't Drive 55" and "Trans Am", obviously something that loser high school kids would latch onto. The closest these loser kids will get to being actual guitar wankers themselves is developing throat cancer and arthritic hips as Eddie Van Halen did in the late 90s. Possible sightings in the future might be a Roth-Van Halen reunion at the Naperville town carnival in 2007.

High school loser, circa 1979 - "Van Halen rocks, man!"
Same loser, circa 2006 - "Put your stretch pants on, honey, and bring *cough cough* me my smokes, we're going *cough cough* to the carnival and see Van Halen. *hack cough hack* And can we stop *cough cough* by your sisters house to borrow some money for beer? *wheez*
by Oh Welles September 13, 2006
 
7.
The band that put 250,000 people to sleep at Woodstock in 1969.
John Fogerty in a Rolling Stone interview: "Creedence had to follow the Grateful Dead. I was like, 'Great, we get to follow the band that just put 250,000 people to sleep. I remember seeing one guy a quarter mile away from the stage with a lighter yelling, 'We're with you, John' so I played our set for that guy."
by Oh Welles September 08, 2006