od smith's definitions

Daily Mail

1.) The Fearmonger's Bible.
2.) A paper for Middle Class, Middle Aged, Middle Englanders' wives.
3.) Where bad journalists go to get paid employment.
4.) Not a tabloid, honest.

1.) "Britain is being overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer..."
2.) "My word, dear. Britain appears to be overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer..."
3.) "I have no journalistic integrity whatsoever, so I'll state that Britain is being overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer..."
4.) "We state the Truth, such as 'Britain is being overrun by terrorists/asylum seekers/alcopops/video nasties/Lee Bowyer...', which you won't see in The Sun."

by OD Smith April 8, 2005

Anna Kournikova

For several years, the most famous Russian sportsperson for her exploits (or lack thereof) on the tennis courts. In fact, she earned far more money through advertising deals due to being extraordinarily sexy indeed and looking good advertising sports bras and having FHM shoots than anything she did on court. Mainly as she, famously, never won a single tournament but regularly packed the courts at Wimbledon when playing, before retiring at the age of 23.

The success of Maria Sharapova, fit and a good player with a Wimbledon victory aged 19 in 2004 ended comparisons very quickly indeed.

"Come on Anna!" - The average Wimbledon spectator, either showing his support of projecting his sexual fantasy. Probably both.

by OD Smith July 3, 2005

Kano Sisters

AKA Kano Shimai.

Japan's answer to the Hilton Sisters, although neither of them are as irritating and overexposed as Paris, and they've been around for a few years.

Multitasking between acting, singing, modelling and generally turning up everywhere, Mika and Kyoko are at the pinnacle of Japan's star system.

Does anyone know the Japanese for "Oh look, it's The Kano Sisters?!?

by OD Smith May 15, 2005

Leona Lewis

Simon Cowell's Weapon of Mass Destruction - who appears to be getting whiter.

Since we seemed to have cloned her with Alexandra Burke, I guess we have to make Leona Lewis whiter.

by OD Smith December 27, 2008

nathan barley

Proof that even Chris Morris can write a pile of crap.

How did the genius behind The Day Today and Brass Eye come up with unwatchable catshite like Nathan Barley?

by OD Smith March 10, 2005

voter apathy

What happens to a General Election when your choice on the ballot paper boils down to a choice between the Conservative Party and a conservative party.

Let me get this straight - I live in a Tory majority and my choices are Labour, Conservative, Lib Dem, UKIP or Veritas, and we know the Tories will get a 20,000 majoity even if I vote Lib Dem?

by OD Smith May 10, 2005

england spirit

Being outplayed for 95% of a football match by a far superior team, but somehow managing to stay level with them due to a five minute period of scoring a couple of goals, which usually includes a Liverpool player blatantly diving for a penalty (which nobody bats an eyelid about) and hanging on for penalties.

If it was any other team, especially against England, they'd be labelled "cynical", "negative" or old fashioned "cheating bastards", which England's moronic fans will bleat about for at least twenty years afterwards.

England vs Argentina, 1998 World Cup
Liverpool vs Milan, 2005 "Champion's" League Final

by OD Smith June 5, 2005