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nicholas d's definitions

Human CentiPad

An Apple product that is part human, part centipede, part web browser, and part e-mailing device. Unveiled by Steve Jobs on "South Park" Season 15 Episode 1. Usually made of people who don't read the terms and conditions on iTunes.
Bro: "What's up, Dogg?"
Dogg: "Not too much, Bro. Where's Guy?"
Bro: "Ah, he caught a bad break. He didn't read the terms and conditions when he downloaded Justin Bieber's latest song off iTunes and accidentally agreed to be part of a Human CentiPad."
Dogg: "Ouch, that's a tough break. I've got to say though, he sort of deserves it for listening to The Bieb. That guy blows something awful."
Bro: "Yeah, totally, what a chode."
by Nicholas D May 21, 2011
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bad economy

An all-purpose excuse that people use during a recession to justify doing things that are below their usual standard. Often these things in reality have little or nothing to do with the economic circumstances.
Harry: "You took your girlfriend to Applebee's on Valentine's Day? Pretty weak."
Larry: "Whatever man, I didn't have a choice. Bad economy."

Senator: "Mr. Paulson, you really want to give the greedy, soulless bankers who caused this mess $700 billion with no strings attached?"
Henry Paulson: "Hey guys, bad economy. Just do it."
Senator: "Good point. I vote yes."

Fred: "Dude, tell me you didn't go home with that broke down 300-pound whale I saw you with at O'Shea's last night."
Brendan: "Dude, it's a bad economy. I'll take what I can get."
Fred: "Yeah, I guess you have to."
by Nicholas D March 15, 2009
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fecal-faced

A more PC way to say shit-faced, for when one would prefer not to swear. It means extremely drunk.
John: "Duuuuude. Last night I consumed a considerable quantity of ethanol. I mean I was totally shit-faced."
Kevin: "What the hell, man, there are kids around. Watch your language. Shit is a terrible word to say. For fuck's sake you inconsiderate cunt."
John: "Oh my bad, I mean fecal-faced. I was drunk as a skunk."
Kevin: "Word to your mother."
by Nicholas D June 19, 2011
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go wood

To completely and utterly flop. Usually refers to a music album. Whereas successful records can go gold or platinum, this term comes from the fact that wood is a far less valuable material.
"Peckerwood mad cuz his record went wood
No respect in the hood led to his 'Neck of the Woods'
Got in touch with his roots, found the redneck in his blood
And said, 'Heck, country western rap records are good'"
-Eminem, "Quitter" (Everlast diss track)

Tim: "Wassup gangsta!?!?!?"
Bill: "Dude, where'd you get that Porsche?"
Tim: "Oh, I took out a loan from this loan shark in Philly. Cost 45 Gs, mothafucka!"
Bill: "Um, that doesn't sound like a good idea. How are you going to pay for it?"
Tim: "Droppin' my new rap album next month, dogg. It's got some phat beats on it."
Bill: "Rap album? You're a white hick from Hummelstown. Who's going to take that seriously?"
Tim: "Don't make me blast my gat! Haha, just clownin'. Check out this sick beat:
(rapping)'Hummelstown, Hummelstown where we pummels down
Any punk ass mothafucka that come around'
Eminem or Jay-Z couldn't write shit that ill. Next time you see me it's gonna be on the red carpet with fly hoes on each arm."
Bill: "I don't know, man. I think you're going to go wood. You might be cruisin' for a bruisin'."
by Nicholas D August 30, 2012
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will smith

1) A phrase that means one plans to engage in the trade of metal treating in the future
2) Someone who is skilled at writing legal documents regarding the passage of one’s estate after death
3) To bitch slap someone in the way that Chris Rock was slapped at the 2022 Oscars
Apothecary: “So you’re almost done with your apothecary training! Ready to open your own shop in town?”
Apprentice: “Nah dogg apothecarying is boring AF. More like apothe-idontcare-ying. I think I will smith.”
Apothecary: “Shut your mouth, you scoundrel! If you dishonor my trade again, I’ll will smith you so hard you’ll wish you’d hired a will smith!”
by Nicholas D April 11, 2022
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freedom beer

A patriotic American term for après ski drinks, meant to show disdain for the French. Used by the same people who say freedom fries, pardon my freedom, freedom toast, and freedom mistake. Means a beer consumed after a day of skiing or snowboarding.
Pierre: "After we finish ze ski-ing, what do you say we all go grab an apres ski glass of ze Bordeaux?"
Katie: "That sounds great, Pierre."
Bob: "What?!? How dare you, you French sympathizer?!? Let's ditch this surrender monkey and go grab a freedom beer. I've got a whole case of 90 Minute back at my place with your name on it. Brewed in the good ol' USA. Screw France!"
Katie: "Ok, good point. I'll go with you instead. Sorry, Frenchy."
by Nicholas D December 29, 2009
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cerione

The rare feat of striking out five times in a baseball game. The term was coined on national TV during the 2008 college world series when Georgia player Matt Cerione accomplished this feat during his team's win over Stanford. Similar to the hat trick (3 strikeouts) and the golden sombrero (4).
Pete really pulled a cerione with the ladies last night at the party. When he got home his shirt was covered in spilled cosmos and his face was red from all the slaps.

Timmy's parents couldn't show their faces in public after their son racked up three ceriones and five golden sombreros over the little league season.
by Nicholas D June 22, 2008
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