nicholas d's definitions
An Apple product that is part human, part centipede, part web browser, and part e-mailing device. Unveiled by Steve Jobs on "South Park" Season 15 Episode 1. Usually made of people who don't read the terms and conditions on iTunes.
Bro: "What's up, Dogg?"
Dogg: "Not too much, Bro. Where's Guy?"
Bro: "Ah, he caught a bad break. He didn't read the terms and conditions when he downloaded Justin Bieber's latest song off iTunes and accidentally agreed to be part of a Human CentiPad."
Dogg: "Ouch, that's a tough break. I've got to say though, he sort of deserves it for listening to The Bieb. That guy blows something awful."
Bro: "Yeah, totally, what a chode."
Dogg: "Not too much, Bro. Where's Guy?"
Bro: "Ah, he caught a bad break. He didn't read the terms and conditions when he downloaded Justin Bieber's latest song off iTunes and accidentally agreed to be part of a Human CentiPad."
Dogg: "Ouch, that's a tough break. I've got to say though, he sort of deserves it for listening to The Bieb. That guy blows something awful."
Bro: "Yeah, totally, what a chode."
by Nicholas D May 21, 2011
Get the Human CentiPad mug.A neighborhood in San Francisco bounded roughly by Dolores St. on the east, Diamond Heights Blvd./Market St. on the west, 21st St. on the north, and 30th St. on the south. Lots of shops and restaurants, but not a big nightlife spot since everyone - OK, maybe not everyone, just about 98% of people - have a couple of young kids and a dog. A very yuppie place where people from the Marina neighborhood move to settle down, usually moving on to Marin County when their kids start school. When in Noe Valley, be sure to watch out for the legions of double-wide strollers that will run you over if you're not careful. Pretty much the polar opposite of The Brook in Harrisburg, PA.
Brad: "Well, we're finally moving into our new place in SF! I can't say I love Noe Valley, but at least we're close to some good bars and stuff. I'm at least glad we're still pretty young and not like those boring old yuppies with two kids and a dog."
Jen: "I know, this is great! Here, try this organic, sustainable white truffle sheep's milk barrel aged frozen yogurt."
Brad: "Where'd you get that?"
Jen: "At the farmer's market."
Brad: "Since when do you go to those?"
Jen: "Oh, I just stopped by after my yoga class this morning."
Brad: "Yoga?"
Jen: "Yeah, I just signed up. The fro-yo is yummy, but I wish it were vegan."
Brad: "Ew, vegan, really?"
Jen: "Yeah, we should probably stop eating animal products. Or at least make sure each animal gets at least 100 square feet, eats food prepared by a well-trained chef, and has a personal masseuse."
Brad: "What? Where did this come from? Who are you?"
Jen: "I'm pregnant."
Brad: "Pfft! Seriously?"
Jen: "It's twins. A boy and a girl. I'm thinking we should name them Bentley and Addison."
Brad: "You're kidding, right? Those are names?"
Jen: "Here, check out this stroller site. This double-wide is made by a small local artisan and is only $600."
Brad: "SIX HUNDRED?"
Dog: "Woof!"
Brad: "WTF?"
Jen: "Oh, this is Mr. Woofingtons, the Welsh corgi I just adopted."
Brad: "Mr. Woofingtons?"
Jen: "So, yeah, I'm so excited to live here too! I love this neighborhood!"
Brad: "WHY, NOE VALLEY, WHY???"
Jen: "I know, this is great! Here, try this organic, sustainable white truffle sheep's milk barrel aged frozen yogurt."
Brad: "Where'd you get that?"
Jen: "At the farmer's market."
Brad: "Since when do you go to those?"
Jen: "Oh, I just stopped by after my yoga class this morning."
Brad: "Yoga?"
Jen: "Yeah, I just signed up. The fro-yo is yummy, but I wish it were vegan."
Brad: "Ew, vegan, really?"
Jen: "Yeah, we should probably stop eating animal products. Or at least make sure each animal gets at least 100 square feet, eats food prepared by a well-trained chef, and has a personal masseuse."
Brad: "What? Where did this come from? Who are you?"
Jen: "I'm pregnant."
Brad: "Pfft! Seriously?"
Jen: "It's twins. A boy and a girl. I'm thinking we should name them Bentley and Addison."
Brad: "You're kidding, right? Those are names?"
Jen: "Here, check out this stroller site. This double-wide is made by a small local artisan and is only $600."
Brad: "SIX HUNDRED?"
Dog: "Woof!"
Brad: "WTF?"
Jen: "Oh, this is Mr. Woofingtons, the Welsh corgi I just adopted."
Brad: "Mr. Woofingtons?"
Jen: "So, yeah, I'm so excited to live here too! I love this neighborhood!"
Brad: "WHY, NOE VALLEY, WHY???"
by Nicholas D July 28, 2012
Get the Noe Valley mug.A figurative saying meaning that someone is extremely good in the clutch and very cool under pressure.
Norm: "Well folks, we're here on the 18th hole and Tiger Woods is having a great day, putting his balls pretty much wherever he wants to."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."
by Nicholas D April 22, 2011
Get the ice water in the veins mug.Bro 1: “Hey brah wanna come to the Rose Garden party where we celebrate that Supreme Court lady biting the dust?”
Bro 2: “Nah brah that place is gonna be a total rone zone.”
Bro 2: “Nah brah that place is gonna be a total rone zone.”
by Nicholas D October 9, 2020
Get the rone zone mug.Short for investment banking, an industry devoted to squeezing money out of transactions, famous for paying a metric shitload, being filled with douchebags, and doing absolutely nothing for the benefit of society. It is amazing that anyone actually ends up in this industry, as you have to be very smart to get such a job, but very stupid to take it.
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Vice President #1: "SHIT!!! I'm going to have to spend all weekend getting this investor request done!!!"
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
by Nicholas D May 7, 2007
Get the I-banking mug.1) The Greek letter sigma
2) The summation operator, indicating a series to be summed
3) A synonym for "summer" due to definition (2) above
4) A synonym for "count it" due to definition (2) above, indicating agreement with someone
2) The summation operator, indicating a series to be summed
3) A synonym for "summer" due to definition (2) above
4) A synonym for "count it" due to definition (2) above, indicating agreement with someone
Guy 1: "Hey man, can't believe tomorrow is June 1st and it's almost Σ. What do you want to do after we finish these Σ exercises for math class? Maybe go to the ΣAE frat party?"
Guy 2: "Nah, let's chill with the broskis and watch '500 Days of Σ' while we drink some White Claw and Aperol spritzers."
Guy 1: "Σ! But it bothers me in that movie how Σ really screwed over JGL, NGL."
Guy 2: "Σ."
Guy 2: "Nah, let's chill with the broskis and watch '500 Days of Σ' while we drink some White Claw and Aperol spritzers."
Guy 1: "Σ! But it bothers me in that movie how Σ really screwed over JGL, NGL."
Guy 2: "Σ."
by Nicholas D August 8, 2023
Get the Σ mug.A combination nanny state and anarchy: A government that cracks down on trivial everyday things while letting actual criminals run rampant, failing to prosecute serious crimes. Example: San Francisco 2020 under DA Chesa Boudin.
John was caught breaking into fifty cars, dealing crack to kids, and stabbing a cop. The San Francisco DA let him off with $1 bail for these silly but harmless shenanigans. But then they caught him drinking through a plastic straw rather than a compostable one while celebrating his release, and sentenced him to 20 years in maximum security prison for committing such a serious felony. Just another victim of the nannarchy...
by Nicholas D January 31, 2020
Get the nannarchy mug.