nicholas d's definitions
The greatest style of beer ever to grace the earth. Typically clocking in upwards of 8% ABV, this wine-strength beer is the motherlode of malty goodness, and is the preferred style of the highest echelon of cicerone s. There are two sub-styles, American and English, the former of which has more hop flavor and bitterness. As heavy hopping is appropriate in an IPA but destroys the pure heavenly flavor of this glorious beer style, a preference for American barleywine has been linked in scientific studies with brain damages, taste bud disorders, and early onset dementia. "Barleywine" is also generally considered to be a synonym of "life", thus giving rise to the common expression "Barleywine is life", or BiL for short.
Albert Einstein: "I just discovered the special theory of relativity, which Is the biggest breakthrough in theoretical physics in centuries. Also, I prefer American barleywine to English and hazy IPAs to barleywine in general."
Master cicerone: "Yeah, sorry to break it to you brah, but I think you may be mentally retarded."
Master cicerone: "Yeah, sorry to break it to you brah, but I think you may be mentally retarded."
by Nicholas D August 11, 2018
Get the barleywinemug. A pejorative term used by residents of either coast to refer to all US states that do not border an ocean, particularly those in the Midwest.
Person 1: "Where are you from?"
Person 2: "Chicago.
Person 1: "Where the hell is that? Is it a foreign country like Africa or something?"
Person 2: "No, it's in the US."
Person 1: "What state? Probably some lame state like East Dakota or Toronto or Mt. Rushmore."
Person 2: "Illinois actually."
Person 1: "AHAHAHAHAHA LOOOOOOSER! It must suck ass living in the flyover states! Picking corn and milking cows and going to pig shows and shit. Your life sounds terrible."
Person 2: "Yeah...where are you from?"
Person 1: "Stockton, beeotch. Eat that."
Person 2: "Where is that?"
Person 1: "Um, hello, California, duh."
Person 2: "Oh that place. I remember seeing it in a Most Depressing Cities in the US article. Must be awesome sitting in front of your foreclosed mobile home watching Teen Mom reruns on an old black and white TV, wishing you'd catch a break and get cast in the next season, all while trying not to get shot."
Person 1: "Yeah, it is awesome."
Person 2: "Chicago.
Person 1: "Where the hell is that? Is it a foreign country like Africa or something?"
Person 2: "No, it's in the US."
Person 1: "What state? Probably some lame state like East Dakota or Toronto or Mt. Rushmore."
Person 2: "Illinois actually."
Person 1: "AHAHAHAHAHA LOOOOOOSER! It must suck ass living in the flyover states! Picking corn and milking cows and going to pig shows and shit. Your life sounds terrible."
Person 2: "Yeah...where are you from?"
Person 1: "Stockton, beeotch. Eat that."
Person 2: "Where is that?"
Person 1: "Um, hello, California, duh."
Person 2: "Oh that place. I remember seeing it in a Most Depressing Cities in the US article. Must be awesome sitting in front of your foreclosed mobile home watching Teen Mom reruns on an old black and white TV, wishing you'd catch a break and get cast in the next season, all while trying not to get shot."
Person 1: "Yeah, it is awesome."
by Nicholas D February 4, 2012
Get the flyover statesmug. A figurative saying meaning that someone is extremely good in the clutch and very cool under pressure.
Norm: "Well folks, we're here on the 18th hole and Tiger Woods is having a great day, putting his balls pretty much wherever he wants to."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."
by Nicholas D April 22, 2011
Get the ice water in the veinsmug. A neighborhood in San Francisco bounded roughly by Dolores St. on the east, Diamond Heights Blvd./Market St. on the west, 21st St. on the north, and 30th St. on the south. Lots of shops and restaurants, but not a big nightlife spot since everyone - OK, maybe not everyone, just about 98% of people - have a couple of young kids and a dog. A very yuppie place where people from the Marina neighborhood move to settle down, usually moving on to Marin County when their kids start school. When in Noe Valley, be sure to watch out for the legions of double-wide strollers that will run you over if you're not careful. Pretty much the polar opposite of The Brook in Harrisburg, PA.
Brad: "Well, we're finally moving into our new place in SF! I can't say I love Noe Valley, but at least we're close to some good bars and stuff. I'm at least glad we're still pretty young and not like those boring old yuppies with two kids and a dog."
Jen: "I know, this is great! Here, try this organic, sustainable white truffle sheep's milk barrel aged frozen yogurt."
Brad: "Where'd you get that?"
Jen: "At the farmer's market."
Brad: "Since when do you go to those?"
Jen: "Oh, I just stopped by after my yoga class this morning."
Brad: "Yoga?"
Jen: "Yeah, I just signed up. The fro-yo is yummy, but I wish it were vegan."
Brad: "Ew, vegan, really?"
Jen: "Yeah, we should probably stop eating animal products. Or at least make sure each animal gets at least 100 square feet, eats food prepared by a well-trained chef, and has a personal masseuse."
Brad: "What? Where did this come from? Who are you?"
Jen: "I'm pregnant."
Brad: "Pfft! Seriously?"
Jen: "It's twins. A boy and a girl. I'm thinking we should name them Bentley and Addison."
Brad: "You're kidding, right? Those are names?"
Jen: "Here, check out this stroller site. This double-wide is made by a small local artisan and is only $600."
Brad: "SIX HUNDRED?"
Dog: "Woof!"
Brad: "WTF?"
Jen: "Oh, this is Mr. Woofingtons, the Welsh corgi I just adopted."
Brad: "Mr. Woofingtons?"
Jen: "So, yeah, I'm so excited to live here too! I love this neighborhood!"
Brad: "WHY, NOE VALLEY, WHY???"
Jen: "I know, this is great! Here, try this organic, sustainable white truffle sheep's milk barrel aged frozen yogurt."
Brad: "Where'd you get that?"
Jen: "At the farmer's market."
Brad: "Since when do you go to those?"
Jen: "Oh, I just stopped by after my yoga class this morning."
Brad: "Yoga?"
Jen: "Yeah, I just signed up. The fro-yo is yummy, but I wish it were vegan."
Brad: "Ew, vegan, really?"
Jen: "Yeah, we should probably stop eating animal products. Or at least make sure each animal gets at least 100 square feet, eats food prepared by a well-trained chef, and has a personal masseuse."
Brad: "What? Where did this come from? Who are you?"
Jen: "I'm pregnant."
Brad: "Pfft! Seriously?"
Jen: "It's twins. A boy and a girl. I'm thinking we should name them Bentley and Addison."
Brad: "You're kidding, right? Those are names?"
Jen: "Here, check out this stroller site. This double-wide is made by a small local artisan and is only $600."
Brad: "SIX HUNDRED?"
Dog: "Woof!"
Brad: "WTF?"
Jen: "Oh, this is Mr. Woofingtons, the Welsh corgi I just adopted."
Brad: "Mr. Woofingtons?"
Jen: "So, yeah, I'm so excited to live here too! I love this neighborhood!"
Brad: "WHY, NOE VALLEY, WHY???"
by Nicholas D July 28, 2012
Get the Noe Valleymug. An Apple product that is part human, part centipede, part web browser, and part e-mailing device. Unveiled by Steve Jobs on "South Park" Season 15 Episode 1. Usually made of people who don't read the terms and conditions on iTunes.
Bro: "What's up, Dogg?"
Dogg: "Not too much, Bro. Where's Guy?"
Bro: "Ah, he caught a bad break. He didn't read the terms and conditions when he downloaded Justin Bieber's latest song off iTunes and accidentally agreed to be part of a Human CentiPad."
Dogg: "Ouch, that's a tough break. I've got to say though, he sort of deserves it for listening to The Bieb. That guy blows something awful."
Bro: "Yeah, totally, what a chode."
Dogg: "Not too much, Bro. Where's Guy?"
Bro: "Ah, he caught a bad break. He didn't read the terms and conditions when he downloaded Justin Bieber's latest song off iTunes and accidentally agreed to be part of a Human CentiPad."
Dogg: "Ouch, that's a tough break. I've got to say though, he sort of deserves it for listening to The Bieb. That guy blows something awful."
Bro: "Yeah, totally, what a chode."
by Nicholas D May 21, 2011
Get the Human CentiPadmug. Bro 1: “Hey brah wanna come to the Rose Garden party where we celebrate that Supreme Court lady biting the dust?”
Bro 2: “Nah brah that place is gonna be a total rone zone.”
Bro 2: “Nah brah that place is gonna be a total rone zone.”
by Nicholas D October 9, 2020
Get the rone zonemug. Connor: "Hey, man."
Jake: "What's up. Whoa...nice...um...shirt."
Connor: "You like it? It says 'CRIPS' but it's red, which is the Bloods' color. It's meant to be ironic."
Jake: "Um yeah. I know this is Brooklyn and it's a mecca for hipsters like you, but there are some gangbangers around these parts and you seriously might get shot."
Connor: "No dude, it's all jiggy. If a gangster tries to run up on me, I'll just be like, 'No, dude, I'm not in a gang. It's ironic - get it?' and he'll be like 'LOL, that's a good one!' and we'll have a good laugh about it. Trust me, I'm down with the hood."
Jake: "Riiiiight. Nice knowing you."
Jake: "What's up. Whoa...nice...um...shirt."
Connor: "You like it? It says 'CRIPS' but it's red, which is the Bloods' color. It's meant to be ironic."
Jake: "Um yeah. I know this is Brooklyn and it's a mecca for hipsters like you, but there are some gangbangers around these parts and you seriously might get shot."
Connor: "No dude, it's all jiggy. If a gangster tries to run up on me, I'll just be like, 'No, dude, I'm not in a gang. It's ironic - get it?' and he'll be like 'LOL, that's a good one!' and we'll have a good laugh about it. Trust me, I'm down with the hood."
Jake: "Riiiiight. Nice knowing you."
by Nicholas D January 18, 2012
Get the down withmug.