nicholas d's definitions

run up and squeeze

To approach and shoot somebody.

"I'll run up and squeeze and put a hole in ya." - 50 Cent, "Places to Go"

Manny: "Bitch did you just step on my foot?"
Reggie: "Chill man, it was an accident."
Manny: "Fool oh no you didn't. I'm fin' to spark metal on yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna ride on you, dogg."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna run up and pop you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm fin' to blast my gat on you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna roll up and squeeze and put a hole in ya."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna shoot you!"
Reggie: "Oh ok. I really didn't understand what you were trying to say there. You've been spending too much time on Urban Dictionary. You should cut down on the slang if you want to get your point across effectively."
Manny: "Wow, I never thought of it that way. Now that you mention it, I should make an attempt to use more straightforward language in the future when threatening someone. Thanks for the tip."
Reggie: "No problem. See you later."

by Nicholas D October 1, 2009

hot turkey

Starting something suddenly; the opposite of cold turkey.

Sean: "Dude, have you started smoking yet?"
Jeff: "No, but I'll do it soon."
Sean: "Come on, man! You said you'd do it by Thanksgiving and it's past New Year's now."
Jeff: "It's just too hard doing it hot turkey! Maybe I should start chewing Nicorette gum first."

Turk #1: "Have you switched from hot turkey to cold turkey sandwiches yet? It's almost summer here in Turkey and it's getting too hot for hot turkey."
Turk #2: "Yeah, I just quit hot turkey cold turkey in cold Turkey and now I'm starting cold turkey hot turkey in cold Turkey."
Turk #1: "Right on."

by Nicholas D March 17, 2009

Tio Tomas

The Hispanic version of an Uncle Tom; a sellout to his people who likes to suck up to the white oppressors.

"Can you believe that punk Marco Gutierrez with his Latinos for Trump group? What a Tio Tomas!"
"Yeah no kidding. What's next, Blacks for David Duke?"

by Nicholas D September 5, 2016

smack it

To masturbate. A synonym of spank it. "It" refers to the penis.

Brandon: "Dude, want to head over to Pat O'Briens and catch the Sox game?"
Mac: "Uh...maybe later. Your sister just put up a new Facebook album full of spring break bikini pics, and she's looking pretty damn good. I'm just gonna hang out here and smack it to that a few times."
Brandon: "What??? Oh no you didn't! The only smacking that's going to happen is me smacking you up!"

by Nicholas D March 9, 2009

P-ness

A noun that describes the level of statistical significance of a scientific study, or P-value. A small P-ness (low P-value) means that the study is very statistically significant.

Dr. Willie Cox: "I'd like to congratulate Dr. Peter Johnson, who worked in collaboration with Dr. Richard Wiener and Dr. John Thomas, on a phenomenal research publication. With a P-value of 0.0000001, I can definitively say to everyone that Dr. Johnson has perhaps the smallest P-ness I've ever seen in my life. Dr. Johnson, I hereby bestow upon you the title 'tiny P-ness guy' and hope everyone calls you that to honor you for the rest of your career."
Dr. Peter Johnson: "Uh thanks...I guess. Please don't call me that."

by Nicholas D December 10, 2020

bitch cracka

The white version of a bitch nigga. Someone who talks a big game and gossips a lot but backs down at the first sign of a fight. If you make it big in the game, they will suck up to you to try to get some of your money. Bitch crackaz are weak and have been known to engage in such mark-ass activities as taking bubble baths and using their bitch's blush to cover up a pistol whip wound.

Connor: "How are you on this fine morning, Madeline?"
Madeline: "Why, rather swell, Connor. I have some rather disturbing news from you, however. I heard from Emily that Blake was verbally disparaging you. He said that your racquetball game was mediocre at best and that you performed rather poorly at last week's poetry reading. Furthermore, he thinks you are a hypocrite since you claim to eat only organic free-range chicken but he saw you go into KFC the other day."
Connor: "Well I never! I shall confront that scoundrel!"
(later)
Connor: "You fool! How dare you sully my good name? We must engage in fisticuffs at once!"
Blake: "Nonsense, my good chap. I did nothing of the sort. Let's bury the hatchet and set up a tee time at the country club for next weekend."
Connor: "Silence! I believe Dr. Dre put it most eloquently: 'So many crackaz like to keep up shit, and just like a bitch, crackaz be talkin' shit. Smilin' in my face and then you blast me in the back, crackaz stay strapped from way back, cuz payback'll make crackaz wanna pop that shit. If you ain't ready for the game, cracka stop that shit'...well, I'm not going to recite it all, but he finishes with, 'If you act like a bitch, then you smacked like a bitch!' That is precisely what will be your fate! Please note that I replaced all instances of the N-word with the C-word since you are white. Indeed, you, sir, are a bitch cracka! Get over here! I'm going to slap you silly!"

by Nicholas D November 6, 2009

fecal-faced

A more PC way to say shit-faced, for when one would prefer not to swear. It means extremely drunk.

John: "Duuuuude. Last night I consumed a considerable quantity of ethanol. I mean I was totally shit-faced."
Kevin: "What the hell, man, there are kids around. Watch your language. Shit is a terrible word to say. For fuck's sake you inconsiderate cunt."
John: "Oh my bad, I mean fecal-faced. I was drunk as a skunk."
Kevin: "Word to your mother."

by Nicholas D June 19, 2011