nicholas d's definitions

bad economy

An all-purpose excuse that people use during a recession to justify doing things that are below their usual standard. Often these things in reality have little or nothing to do with the economic circumstances.

Harry: "You took your girlfriend to Applebee's on Valentine's Day? Pretty weak."
Larry: "Whatever man, I didn't have a choice. Bad economy."

Senator: "Mr. Paulson, you really want to give the greedy, soulless bankers who caused this mess $700 billion with no strings attached?"
Henry Paulson: "Hey guys, bad economy. Just do it."
Senator: "Good point. I vote yes."

Fred: "Dude, tell me you didn't go home with that broke down 300-pound whale I saw you with at O'Shea's last night."
Brendan: "Dude, it's a bad economy. I'll take what I can get."
Fred: "Yeah, I guess you have to."

by Nicholas D March 15, 2009

go wood

To completely and utterly flop. Usually refers to a music album. Whereas successful records can go gold or platinum, this term comes from the fact that wood is a far less valuable material.

"Peckerwood mad cuz his record went wood
No respect in the hood led to his 'Neck of the Woods'
Got in touch with his roots, found the redneck in his blood
And said, 'Heck, country western rap records are good'"
-Eminem, "Quitter" (Everlast diss track)

Tim: "Wassup gangsta!?!?!?"
Bill: "Dude, where'd you get that Porsche?"
Tim: "Oh, I took out a loan from this loan shark in Philly. Cost 45 Gs, mothafucka!"
Bill: "Um, that doesn't sound like a good idea. How are you going to pay for it?"
Tim: "Droppin' my new rap album next month, dogg. It's got some phat beats on it."
Bill: "Rap album? You're a white hick from Hummelstown. Who's going to take that seriously?"
Tim: "Don't make me blast my gat! Haha, just clownin'. Check out this sick beat:
(rapping)'Hummelstown, Hummelstown where we pummels down
Any punk ass mothafucka that come around'
Eminem or Jay-Z couldn't write shit that ill. Next time you see me it's gonna be on the red carpet with fly hoes on each arm."
Bill: "I don't know, man. I think you're going to go wood. You might be cruisin' for a bruisin'."

by Nicholas D August 30, 2012

fecal-faced

A more PC way to say shit-faced, for when one would prefer not to swear. It means extremely drunk.

John: "Duuuuude. Last night I consumed a considerable quantity of ethanol. I mean I was totally shit-faced."
Kevin: "What the hell, man, there are kids around. Watch your language. Shit is a terrible word to say. For fuck's sake you inconsiderate cunt."
John: "Oh my bad, I mean fecal-faced. I was drunk as a skunk."
Kevin: "Word to your mother."

by Nicholas D June 19, 2011

P-ness

A noun that describes the level of statistical significance of a scientific study, or P-value. A small P-ness (low P-value) means that the study is very statistically significant.

Dr. Willie Cox: "I'd like to congratulate Dr. Peter Johnson, who worked in collaboration with Dr. Richard Wiener and Dr. John Thomas, on a phenomenal research publication. With a P-value of 0.0000001, I can definitively say to everyone that Dr. Johnson has perhaps the smallest P-ness I've ever seen in my life. Dr. Johnson, I hereby bestow upon you the title 'tiny P-ness guy' and hope everyone calls you that to honor you for the rest of your career."
Dr. Peter Johnson: "Uh thanks...I guess. Please don't call me that."

by Nicholas D December 10, 2020

slap your grandma

A phrase that means that something is so good that you're awestruck by it to the point where you're so disoriented that you might mistakenly slap your grandmother. If someone takes this literally it could at best cause an awkward situation and at worst cause your entire family to fall apart.

"Woo-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma!
There oughta be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk..."
-Trace Adkins, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"

Mom: "Everybody, Jimmy was nice enough to cook us this Thanksgiving turkey!"
Everyone: "Yea, Jimmy! Hip hip hooray!"
Jimmy: "Aw gee guys...Mom, why don't you have the first bite."
Mom: (eating it) "WOW I'll be damned if this isn't the greatest turkey I've ever had! Slap your grandma!"
Jimmy: "OK." ***SMACK!!!*** (pimp-slaps her across the face)
Mom: "Well I never! Jimmy, how could you?"
Dad: "Son, get out of here this instant. You're banished from this family forever."
Jimmy: "But but but..."
Dad: "But but but...SHUT UP!!! Get your elderly-assaulting ass out of my house!"

by Nicholas D May 23, 2008

B&Ters

Short for "bridge and tunnelers." People who hang out in Manhattan but live elsewhere and come in on a bridge or tunnel. Generally have a trashy reputation among Manhattanites, but in reality can range from sketchy Jersey shore guido types to normal Brooklyn/Queens residents who didn't want to shell out $2000 a month for a closet-sized shithole in The Village. Surprisingly, most B&Ters are nothing like the guy in "My New Haircut." Still snobbier Manhattan residents usually stay away from bars/clubs frequented by the B&Ters.

Jersey shore guido: "Out of the way, broski. Me and my boys are ready to down some fuckin' Jager bombs. We're gonna get wasted and grind on every piece of pussy in this place. The bitches are gonna love my new haircut."
Roxbury bouncer: "This is the Roxbury. We wouldn't allow trashy B&Ters like you guys in this club even if you had Jessica Alba with you."
Jersey shore guido: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking ZONE!" (tries to walk in, ends up in nearby dumpster)

by Nicholas D December 28, 2007

sandbag

(verb) To screw around or work on other things while you are supposed to be completing a task or working on something.

Bob looked to be a promising hire with his Princeton degree and impressive summer internships. But when his boss checked his internet use log, it was obvious Bob had been sandbagging up a storm: posting daily from work on his "Notorious B.O.B. in da hizzouse" blog and spending an inordinate amount of time on midgetporn.com.

by Nicholas D December 23, 2007