nicholas d's definitions
Zero Interest Rate Phenomenon. In the period of near-zero interest rates that lasted from roughly 2008-2021, cash was cheap and many people - especially large tech companies - were throwing away money on silly things. Those things went away in 2022 and are now known as ZIRPs.
Googler 1: “Arrrgh I can’t fix this bug! Can you call the office fluffer down here to help get my mind off this for a bit?”
Googler 2: “Sorry chief, they got rid of the fluffers in ‘22. Just like the dog spa and the corporate Segways. Those were all ZIRPs, bud. Welcome to the age of austerity.”
Googler 2: “Sorry chief, they got rid of the fluffers in ‘22. Just like the dog spa and the corporate Segways. Those were all ZIRPs, bud. Welcome to the age of austerity.”
by Nicholas D March 24, 2024
Get the ZIRPmug. A mildly offensive term that refers to a beirut or beer pong shot that misses back and to the left like John F. Kennedy's head did when he was shot (which supports the grassy knoll theory). Typically results from excessive follow-through from a right-handed shooter.
When Steve was starting his shot on the last cup, Tim shouted, "Your mom!" at precisely the right moment. This shocking insult hit too close to home and caused Steve to overdo his throwing motion, unleashing a wicked kennedy arm that sailed back and to the left of the cups.
by Nicholas D January 7, 2012
Get the kennedy armmug. The path of moral integrity; following the rules. People who follow the straight and narrow typically abstain from activities such as hustlin, pimpin, and some gangsta shit.
Mobb Deep: "What's up fool? What you been doing?"
Todd: "You know, helping out at retirement homes, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, coaching a peewee soccer team, stuff like that."
Mobb Deep: "All right playa. Good to hear. How you raking in the paper doing all that volunteer work?"
Todd: "Funny you should mention it. I actually dabble in pimpin hos on the side. I run a rather successful operation consisting of 4 or 5 bitches. We turned a substantial profit last quarter. Unfortunately I had to pop a cap in a few bitch niggas who didn't pay up."
Mobb Deep: "Man that's some bullshit, you hypocrite. Either you're in the game or you stick the straight and narrow. There ain't no such thing as halfway crooks."
"This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast
Good night!"
-Slick Rick, "Children's Story"
Todd: "You know, helping out at retirement homes, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, coaching a peewee soccer team, stuff like that."
Mobb Deep: "All right playa. Good to hear. How you raking in the paper doing all that volunteer work?"
Todd: "Funny you should mention it. I actually dabble in pimpin hos on the side. I run a rather successful operation consisting of 4 or 5 bitches. We turned a substantial profit last quarter. Unfortunately I had to pop a cap in a few bitch niggas who didn't pay up."
Mobb Deep: "Man that's some bullshit, you hypocrite. Either you're in the game or you stick the straight and narrow. There ain't no such thing as halfway crooks."
"This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast
Good night!"
-Slick Rick, "Children's Story"
by Nicholas D October 31, 2009
Get the straight and narrowmug. A euphemism for "motherfucking."
by Nicholas D November 8, 2011
Get the monkey-fightingmug. Attempting to get the worst possible gas mileage. The opposite of hypermiling. Usually done to look like a rebel or to spite the system or environmentalist hippies.
Dave: "What up dogg. Let's head over to Mel's Tavern and throw back some Jager bombs."
Pat: "No can do, broski. I'm all out of cash. Had to fill up the Hummer 4 times this week at $4.50 a gallon."
Dave: "Whaaat? How can you go through that much gas? You don't even drive that much."
Pat: "Hypomiling, man, all the way. I loaded a half-ton of bricks into the trunk, added air shields for extra wind resistance, and of course a full-size fridge in the back that runs off gas. Not to mention accelerating and braking as fast as possible and revving the engine at every stoplight. I've gotten this baby down to 2 miles a gallon!"
Dave: "Um...yeah, that's great, but now you're broke."
Pat: "It's totally worth it! Yesterday I put together a poster of my gas receipts and odometer readings, then showed it to a bunch of people at Whole Foods. You should have seen the looks on their faces. Dirty hippies! I got them good! My carbon footprint is bigger than the Grand Canyon! Hahaha!!! Eat that, Al Gore! I am the greatest hypomiler alive!!! Mwhahahahaha!!!"
Dave: "Dude, you've really lost it this time."
Pat: "No can do, broski. I'm all out of cash. Had to fill up the Hummer 4 times this week at $4.50 a gallon."
Dave: "Whaaat? How can you go through that much gas? You don't even drive that much."
Pat: "Hypomiling, man, all the way. I loaded a half-ton of bricks into the trunk, added air shields for extra wind resistance, and of course a full-size fridge in the back that runs off gas. Not to mention accelerating and braking as fast as possible and revving the engine at every stoplight. I've gotten this baby down to 2 miles a gallon!"
Dave: "Um...yeah, that's great, but now you're broke."
Pat: "It's totally worth it! Yesterday I put together a poster of my gas receipts and odometer readings, then showed it to a bunch of people at Whole Foods. You should have seen the looks on their faces. Dirty hippies! I got them good! My carbon footprint is bigger than the Grand Canyon! Hahaha!!! Eat that, Al Gore! I am the greatest hypomiler alive!!! Mwhahahahaha!!!"
Dave: "Dude, you've really lost it this time."
by Nicholas D June 10, 2008
Get the hypomilingmug. Can you believe Bob paid $50 for another small bottle Anchorage stout on Tavour that’s the same as the last five they released? He’s getting evicted because he blew his whole paycheck on hyped-up beers. What a ticksucker.
by Nicholas D April 2, 2021
Get the ticksuckermug. A name commonly used as a pun in many words in the Engirish language. Can be pronounced either "grr-IHSH" or "grr-EESH".
Girish Girishtie, a poligirishian from the girishdiction of New Girishey, had a big debate to attend. He had girishently been engirished to run for Congirish by mentors like Girish W. Bush and Newt Gingirish. Girish wasn't the most girishmatic man and sometimes spoke jibgirish. Nor was he learned, never having read "Ode on a Girishan Urn" or the writings of the Hare Girishna, instead preferring a John Girisham book or "The Lion, Girish, and the Wardrobe". Still, he lived a fairly luxurgirish life and certainly was not malgirished due to his love for sugirish foods. Speakingirish, he enjoyed Girish's Pieces, Rice Girishpie Treats, licgirish, and Ben and Girish ice cream.
Girish studied his policy points he might have to regirishitate later, rigirishly covering all the categirish. He boned up on the situations in Kyrgirishtan and United Arab Emgirish, Turgirish transgirishins against the Kurgirish people, the ingirishingly girishly water crisis in Flint, Girishigan, the latest girishmandering district lines, the new tax on cigirish, and girisht of the issues. With fingirish crossed, off to girishes he went! Unfortunately he had an amagirish and disgirishful performance and was embarrgirished by the eventual election winner, Mr. Girishon from "South Park", an aggirishive gingirish ogirish clown with angirishues and no disgirishion. At least he was a girishous loser, figuring it's all girisht for the mill. Someday, he regirishured himself, his face would be on Mt. Girishmore.
Girish studied his policy points he might have to regirishitate later, rigirishly covering all the categirish. He boned up on the situations in Kyrgirishtan and United Arab Emgirish, Turgirish transgirishins against the Kurgirish people, the ingirishingly girishly water crisis in Flint, Girishigan, the latest girishmandering district lines, the new tax on cigirish, and girisht of the issues. With fingirish crossed, off to girishes he went! Unfortunately he had an amagirish and disgirishful performance and was embarrgirished by the eventual election winner, Mr. Girishon from "South Park", an aggirishive gingirish ogirish clown with angirishues and no disgirishion. At least he was a girishous loser, figuring it's all girisht for the mill. Someday, he regirishured himself, his face would be on Mt. Girishmore.
by Nicholas D December 19, 2022
Get the girishmug.