12 definitions by nearly civilized

Thinking with your dick instead of your brain.

A slightly different take on Pink Floyd's 1987 album "A Momentary Lapse of Reason", used to describe the process in which the male anatomy overrides all rational decision making. Similarities can be drawn to "the heart wants what the heart wants", but "what the penis wants" is more powerful, visceral, and immediate.
Jack: Dude, you must have been beer goggling last night. That girl was such a butterface!
Jim: Yeah, I had a momentary lapse of penis.

John: Why the hell did I out my crush like that and admit to having all these feelings...I don't even like her that much!
Jake: Blame it on a momentary lapse of penis!
by nearly civilized February 18, 2010
A devastating social disorder where a person wants to achieve celebrity without any work. Symptoms present themselves in: the desire to be famous (or becoming famous) for doing absolutely nothing, entitlement issues, excessive Twitter activity; amassing an army of facebook friends for no particular purpose (i.e. showingcasing one's art, reel, portfolio, etc.) other than to garner attention. The sufferer is often deluded by the idea that one can be "made" a celebrity if enough people follow or friend them. Other signs of the disorder can include creating and/or "leaking" your own sex tape, public photos without underwear, inability to form or maintain genuine relationships, the title of "socialite", and rich parents who might have actually accomplished something in their lifetime.
Dr. Kibblesauce: Celebritism is becoming rampant among today's youth...a crippling disorder my research shows to have originated with Paris Hilton and mutated in Kim Kardashian. It is also closely associated with Los Angelism.

John (on Twitter): Yay! I'm up to 3442 friends on facebook!
Jane: Dude, you gotta tone down the celebritism...you only know 42 of them!

Meg (tweeting about her dog): Apparently Cherie's surgery went really well. (Thank goodness!!) She's in recovery now. #getwellsooncherie
Guy: Who the fu©k cares?? God, I wanna smack that bitch then go eat a cheeseburger.
by nearly civilized February 01, 2011
A makeshift calendar kept in your head so there's no evidence; used to stalk someone you're obsessed with. It is compiled mainly from readily available information made public on social networking sites, and through eavesdropping, lurking, gossip, and rumor.
Jill: You know Brit's gonna be at the party next week, right?
Jack: Oh, for sure. Had that shit marked on my stalker calendar for weeks.

Jill: I have a crush on your friend John...
Jack: Want me to have him add you as a friend?
Jill: No, it's cool...I always know what he's doing. He RSVPs to events, says where he's at in his status, and we have enough mutual friends for me to start a decent stalker calendar.

Jill to Jane: Wanna meet at StarB's Tuesday?
Jane: Yeah, like 8:00?
Jack (lurking ten feet away) to self: Sweet!

Jill: Funny how we keep showing up at the same spots!
Jack: Isn't it?
Jack to self: Thank you, stalker calendar!
by nearly civilized January 05, 2010
An emoticon or symbol meant to illustrate the action of gagging oneself in response to a status update or statement that is too cheesy, disgusting, offensive, overly happy, self-aggrandizing, etc. Can also be used to represent throwing up a little in your mouth.
Jill: I love my life sooo much...I have the best boyfriend ever, my job rules and my friends are amazing!
Jack: Makes me want to gag myself. *insert bulimicon*

Jack: Happiness is a grateful spirit, an optimistic attitude, and a heart full of love.
Jill: *insert bulimicon* Think I just threw up in my mouth a little...
by nearly civilized January 05, 2010
An annoying hipster douchebag that has a beard or scruff.
Dude, that beirdo posted up right in front of me at the club last night, waving his iPhone around in my face the entire time like a jackass.

That ball hugger Jim rides a fixie, listens to whiny bitch music, always has a PBR tall boy, smokes American Spirits, wears beanies, flannels, and skinny jeans from American Apparel, and those stupid fakies (non-prescription black rimmed glasses). He's a total beirdo!
by Nearly Civilized December 08, 2012
A feeling related to self, generally selfish in nature, i.e. one of self-pity, victimization, hurt, or sadness. Similar to a guy being on his meriod or entering manopause, but lasting less in duration.
John: Dude, you gotta come out with us tonight!
Jim: Can't man. I'm having a meeling.
by Nearly Civilized May 27, 2012
The clever corporate marketing strategy of placing an ad within an ad.
John: I was shopping online, hit an ad for HP toner, bought some and when it arrived, there were ads for Directv inside the box! That's some serious adception.

Jane: Well, I started seeing posters for it on buses and watched the trailer...when I actually saw the movie, there were ads before the previews and product placement throughout the whole thing. Excessive adception me want to walk out!
by nearly civilized November 06, 2011

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