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mike oxhard's definitions

republican

The American political party that protects the interests of the very wealthy and corporations by lowering their tax and regulatory burden, and making it easier for businesses to get cheap labor and cheap natural resources both at home and abroad.

Since the natural constituency for this agenda is very small, the party panders to religious zealots, racists, and the marginally retarded. Fortunately for the Republicans, the issues that activate this base usually cost nothing and have almost no overlap with their actual economic agenda.
Among wealthy: We need a Republican congress to get rid of that dreadful inheritance tax.

Among stupid: It was the Republicans what said we gonna git a flag burning amendment.
by Mike Oxhard August 15, 2006
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ground hog dump

a bowel movement that is so large and impacted that you can squeeze out a portion, but can't pinch it off, so it goes back in.
After that ground hog dump, I need some laxatives.
by Mike Oxhard July 11, 2006
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Cat Scan

When you grab the inside of a females thigh and can feel her heartbeat.
Connor told me he gave Michelle a Cat Scan
by mike oxhard December 23, 2020
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dilbert

1. someone who works in a cubicle at a mind-numbing job.

2. a job that is good practice for being dead or in a coma.
Don't ask him about his job, he's a dilbert.
by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006
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Texas Tard

Nickname for George W. Bush, who was actually born in Connecticut. Not used in direct address because no one ever told him what "retard" means or that he is one.
The Texas Tard thinks he can invade Iran without starting World War III.
by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006
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cornhole

n. anus.

v. insert in anus

(origin: inspired by widespread use of corncobs for both toilet paper and butt plugs in the South and Midwest)
n. Wipe your cornhole before ya pull up yur pants, Ennis.

v. You cornhole that pig, and yur buying it.
by Mike Oxhard July 12, 2006
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cottage cheese diet

1. the habit of only having sex with women so obese they have severe cellulite (origin: the cottage cheese appearance of cellulite.

2. anything a woman who has severe cellulite eats .
1. She's too skinny for him, he's on a cottage cheese diet.

2. Damn, women on a cottage cheese diet shouldn't wear bikinis!
by Mike Oxhard July 12, 2006
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