mike oxhard's definitions

cornhole

n. anus.

v. insert in anus

(origin: inspired by widespread use of corncobs for both toilet paper and butt plugs in the South and Midwest)

n. Wipe your cornhole before ya pull up yur pants, Ennis.

v. You cornhole that pig, and yur buying it.

by Mike Oxhard July 12, 2006

cottage cheese diet

1. the habit of only having sex with women so obese they have severe cellulite (origin: the cottage cheese appearance of cellulite.

2. anything a woman who has severe cellulite eats .

1. She's too skinny for him, he's on a cottage cheese diet.

2. Damn, women on a cottage cheese diet shouldn't wear bikinis!

by Mike Oxhard July 12, 2006

tie

1. a garment worn around the neck helpful in identifying workers who have been rendered eunuchs by their employers and/or someone who thinks looking important is more important than being comfortable enough to do actual work.

2. also helps dominatrixes identify potential clients who are passives.

(Origin: when slave-catchers would tie a rope around a slave's neck. Also, symbolizes iron collar and chain used to restrain slaves).

That poor dickless fuck has to wear a tie to work.

by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006

republican

The American political party that protects the interests of the very wealthy and corporations by lowering their tax and regulatory burden, and making it easier for businesses to get cheap labor and cheap natural resources both at home and abroad.

Since the natural constituency for this agenda is very small, the party panders to religious zealots, racists, and the marginally retarded. Fortunately for the Republicans, the issues that activate this base usually cost nothing and have almost no overlap with their actual economic agenda.

Among wealthy: We need a Republican congress to get rid of that dreadful inheritance tax.

Among stupid: It was the Republicans what said we gonna git a flag burning amendment.

by Mike Oxhard August 15, 2006

dilbert

1. someone who works in a cubicle at a mind-numbing job.

2. a job that is good practice for being dead or in a coma.

Don't ask him about his job, he's a dilbert.

by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006

Texas Tard

Nickname for George W. Bush, who was actually born in Connecticut. Not used in direct address because no one ever told him what "retard" means or that he is one.

The Texas Tard thinks he can invade Iran without starting World War III.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

back boob

a fatty deposit on the back that hangs in such a way that it resembles a nippleless breast. May sometimes result from a bra that is too tight, causing temporary back boobs. Mostly seen on very fat women or men with manboobs.

"He's got a sick fetish--he goes to the nude beach just to look at back boobs."

by Mike Oxhard September 30, 2006