mike oxhard's definitions

metrosexual

A flaming, obvious homosexual, who nonetheless claims to be hetero, fooling only women, but not gay or straight men. May still be in denial about his sexual orientation, but can't suppress the fashion sense.

GIRL: He's not gay, he's a metrosexual!
GUY: Oh, yeah? Has he tried to have sex with you?
GIRL: No, he said he doesn't want to ruin our friendship...

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

Texas Tard

Nickname for George W. Bush, who was actually born in Connecticut. Not used in direct address because no one ever told him what "retard" means or that he is one.

The Texas Tard thinks he can invade Iran without starting World War III.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

republican

The American political party that protects the interests of the very wealthy and corporations by lowering their tax and regulatory burden, and making it easier for businesses to get cheap labor and cheap natural resources both at home and abroad.

Since the natural constituency for this agenda is very small, the party panders to religious zealots, racists, and the marginally retarded. Fortunately for the Republicans, the issues that activate this base usually cost nothing and have almost no overlap with their actual economic agenda.

Among wealthy: We need a Republican congress to get rid of that dreadful inheritance tax.

Among stupid: It was the Republicans what said we gonna git a flag burning amendment.

by Mike Oxhard August 15, 2006

jingle fever

The attraction a woman feels to a man with a lot of money. (origin: relates to jingling sound of many coins in a pocket).

As soon as she saw his Maserati, she got jingle fever.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

crack ho

1) a prostitute who only sells access to his or her anus. 2) butt monkey 3) a girl who exposes her anal cleft by wearing pants that ride too low.

Man, sometimes you can get a crack ho for half as much as a taco ho.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

whigger

1) a caucasian who doubts his own toughness, so thinks he can fool people into fearing and respecting him by acting black. Ironically, the effect is the opposite. No one is afraid of a whigger not even a smaller whigger.

2) an embarrassingly bad white rapper, generally not applied to the very few talented white rappers like Eminem.

1) Whenever someone hassles him he does his whigger routine because he thinks it will scare them.

2) Vanilla Ice is a whigger.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

whegro

A white person who acts like a caricature of a ghetto black. Whegro is generally used by those uncomfortable saying whigger because it is derived from nigger. See also whafrican American

That whegro needs to pull up his pants and get a job.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006