me old fruity's definitions

Going to see Paul

A euphemism for the act of defecation. Based upon the Glade 'Touch 'n' Fresh' advert where the boy will only do a poo at his friend Paul's house.

Taking a shit, laying cable, cutting off a length of dirty spine

Just going to see Paul, be back in 10!

by me old fruity July 18, 2011

diamn teef

Literally means 'damn thief' but is more used in a situation where someone is trying to rip you off.

Item has 50p sticker on it: I go to the till:
Shopkeeper: Thats £1.
Me: Its 50p!
Shopkeeper: no no, price is wrong...insert rubbish excuse here
Me: Diamn teef.

by me old fruity May 16, 2006

phantom turd

a turd that comes out your ass so fast that it disappears up the u-bend. u hear a big splash, but when u look in to the bowl, there's nothing there...

*splash* ooh sounded like a biggy! wa- heyyy? where did it go? damn spooky phantom turd!

by me old fruity September 25, 2005

ring sting

what u get the morning after eating spicy foods, especially indian or spicy mexican cuisine. It burned in your mouth, it burned in your stomach, and it burns your sphincter.

'aw man, i wish i hadn't had that vindaloo last night. I have an acute case of ring sting, and i've been sitting on this toilet for an hour'

by me old fruity September 25, 2005

fruit loops

crazy people. you know, the ones that stand on street corners wearing foil round their heads jabbering on that the government is intercepting their thoughts.

'thats the third time today that someone has thrown a cat at me. are the fruit loops on day release fromn the funny farm or something?'

by me old fruity September 20, 2005

Scouse key

a crowbar.

thats it!

I was a bit short on cash, so i helped myself to a dvd player from the house down the road, letting myself in with my scouse key.

by me old fruity May 23, 2006

gormless

someone who couldn't find their arse with both hands.

paris hilton, george w bush

by me old fruity August 29, 2005