me old fruity's definitions

turkey

1. An appallingly bad film, game, tv programme or other form of entertainment.
2. A person ignorant of the latest coolness.
3. An affectionate insult to use on family, friends and anyone you wish to baffle.
4. A rather amusing animal.
5. A country which is altogether too fond of knives.

1. 'Deep Impact' should have been a straight-to-video turkey.
2. You jive turkey!
3. Haha mom you're such a complete and utter turkey!
4. Turkey: Gobble Gobble
5. People from Turkey occasionally like to stab English football supporters.

by me old fruity June 11, 2006

did you shit the bed?

what you say to someone who turns up to work ridiculously early, as everyone knows this sort of eager beaver behaviour would only be acceptable if you had actually shat the bed, were forced to get out of it, and had nothing better to do than come to work.

colleague not due to start work till 9 showing up at 8.15: good morning!
me: did you shit the bed?!

by me old fruity October 1, 2006

ace of spades

a dump which requires only a one sheet wipe afterwards

gary was pleased that his abstaining from curry and beans had led to an increase in frequency of the hallowed 'ace of spades', thereby saving him enough money on toilet paper to buy a hummer.

by me old fruity January 4, 2007

scouse cashpoint

a fruit machine.

ch-ching!

Dazza: Eh Brian are you goin out tonight mate?
Brian: Nah mate don't get me dole money till friday
Dazza: Calm down calm down youse can give the scouse cashpoint a try!

by me old fruity May 23, 2006

NUS

National Union of Students. Join and you get a free card that gets you 20% off at pizza hut, 10% at hmv and uh...thats pretty much it.

bouncers don't accept nus cards as id because its easy for 16 yr olds to lie on the application form

by me old fruity August 29, 2005

how much you normally pay?

Something all asian taxi drivers in the UK say when you get in the cab. Must be said with indian/pakistani accent for full effect, and can be very amusing if used correctly. see also:
can i help you my friend?
where u wanting to go?
my brother do it cheap for you!

when serving on the bar or in a shop, try asking 'how much you normally pay?' when a customer asks u how much something is, then laugh at their response

by me old fruity July 1, 2006

multipla

ugliest car known to man. looks somewhere between a blob, an alien and that fat girl that never got asked to dance at parties so just sits in the corner giving her prettier friend evil eye. nissan are responsible for this 6 seater monstrosity.

my ex at NEC Motor Show to prospective buyers of Multipla: leave it alone, its fat and ugly.
me: snigger.

by me old fruity August 28, 2005