39 definitions by me old fruity
a trick employed by scientologists to try to scam you into taking their 'therapy' sessions at $400 a pop. here is a guide. beware:
1. First a scientologist will approach you, offering you a free stress test. you will know they are a scientologist, as they will have the staring, unblinking 'crazy eyes'. they will be very reluctant to take no for an answer.
2. if you do go with them, they will hook you up to an 'e meter'. they will ask you to think of some deeply troubling experience, and when the meter moves slightly, they will present this as evidence you need therapy.
3. you will end up paying $400 a session to have whats troubling you 'audited' (cleared) from your mind. but get this: whats troubling you is, apparently, the souls of murdered aliens (thetans) in your head. betcha didn't see that one coming eh?
1. First a scientologist will approach you, offering you a free stress test. you will know they are a scientologist, as they will have the staring, unblinking 'crazy eyes'. they will be very reluctant to take no for an answer.
2. if you do go with them, they will hook you up to an 'e meter'. they will ask you to think of some deeply troubling experience, and when the meter moves slightly, they will present this as evidence you need therapy.
3. you will end up paying $400 a session to have whats troubling you 'audited' (cleared) from your mind. but get this: whats troubling you is, apparently, the souls of murdered aliens (thetans) in your head. betcha didn't see that one coming eh?
by me old fruity June 19, 2006
Literally means 'damn thief' but is more used in a situation where someone is trying to rip you off.
Item has 50p sticker on it: I go to the till:
Shopkeeper: Thats £1.
Me: Its 50p!
Shopkeeper: no no, price is wrong...insert rubbish excuse here
Me: Diamn teef.
Shopkeeper: Thats £1.
Me: Its 50p!
Shopkeeper: no no, price is wrong...insert rubbish excuse here
Me: Diamn teef.
by me old fruity May 3, 2006
Gwen Stefani's creepy little Japanese pets. The ones that throw on all the outfits they own at once.
by me old fruity July 25, 2005
Contrary to popular belief, this was not invented by Gwen Stefani. She wrote the song in response to a music journalist who made some catty remarks about how Gwen was a cheerleader in high school.
'I heard that u were talking sh!t and you didn't think that i would hear it'...
A hollaback girl is one of the backup, inferior cheerleaders. She was not one of those, but the leader.
'we both wanna be the winner but there can only be one'
Gwen Stefani was merely saying that yes, she was a cheerleader, but she was a damn good one!
'I heard that u were talking sh!t and you didn't think that i would hear it'...
A hollaback girl is one of the backup, inferior cheerleaders. She was not one of those, but the leader.
'we both wanna be the winner but there can only be one'
Gwen Stefani was merely saying that yes, she was a cheerleader, but she was a damn good one!
by me old fruity July 25, 2005
go catch a fish!...bitch!
by me old fruity September 10, 2006
A euphemism for the act of defecation. Coined after Osama Bin Laden's 'dignified burial at sea'.
Taking a shit, dropping the kids off at the pool, laying cable, cutting off a length of dirty spine
Taking a shit, dropping the kids off at the pool, laying cable, cutting off a length of dirty spine
Fred: "Where the hell is Dave? He's been gone ages!".
Dave: "Sorry about that guys, I had to perform a 'dignified burial at sea!'"
Dave: "Sorry about that guys, I had to perform a 'dignified burial at sea!'"
by me old fruity July 16, 2011
A ringtone created by satans very own spawn, Jamster. Not content with ripping off the sound from something called 'the insanity test', they created a hellish blue frog that for some mysterious reason had a tiny shrivelled blue wang, which becomes all the more confusing when you learn that frogs don't actually have wangs.
Do not underestimate just how irritating this er, 'phenomenon' is. If they played this, on loop, at 120 decibels, over the hills of afghanistaan, Bin Laden would come running out of hiding after just 5 minutes offering total surrender and some free dirt on Saddam to boot.
on chavs however, it has no effect.
Do not underestimate just how irritating this er, 'phenomenon' is. If they played this, on loop, at 120 decibels, over the hills of afghanistaan, Bin Laden would come running out of hiding after just 5 minutes offering total surrender and some free dirt on Saddam to boot.
on chavs however, it has no effect.
i would like to feed the crazy frog microwave popcorn kernels, nuke it, and watch the fallout land smack bang on jamster headquarters! B-ding ding ding ding SPLAT
by me old fruity June 29, 2006