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80 definitions by maxhole

 
1.
King George the Turd (jorj thuh turd) NOUN. George Walker Bush, 43rd president of the United States. See also, "Turd Reich."
This country is a scatocracy, the biggest shits rise to the top. That's how we wound up with King George the Turd.
by Maxhole June 20, 2009
 
3.
Turd Reich (terd raik) NOUN.

1. A play on the words, "Third Reich."

2. The long, brutal, fraudulent reign of U.S. President George Walker Bush.

3. The tenure of George Bush's “brain,” Karl Rove, (nickname, “turd blossom”), as Bush's chief adviser.

4. G.W. Bush is the third (get it, third/turd?) U.S. leader named “George.” (George Washington and G.H.W. Bush were the first two. See also, “Third Reich.”
Details of the Turd Reich's horrific torture practices came today in the so-called "Holy Grail" report from the CIA.
by Maxhole June 25, 2009
 
4.
Christian Reich (kris tian ryke) NOUN. The fanatics who claim that Jesus Christ is pro-death penalty, in favor of greed, torture and filling the Holy Land with corpses and radioactive waste. Christian ideology using Nazi tactics.
Another abortion clinic just got bombed by the Christian Reich.
by Maxhole June 19, 2009
 
5.
Congresstard (kon gres tard) NOUN. An especially idiotic member of the U.S. Congress.
Who's the biggest congresstard, Michelle Bachmann or John Shimkus?
by Maxhole June 19, 2009
 
6.
Congressmonkey (kon gres tard) NOUN. A member of the U.S. Congress noted for primitive beliefs and behavior.
Tom Tancredo was endorsed by the "pro white" Council for Conservative Citizens and Marilyn Musgrave was endorsed by the KKK. They want to jail all gays and illegal immigrants. These congressmonkeys are proof men descended from apes. And not very far, in some cases.
by Maxhole June 19, 2009
 
7.
snodgepocker (snodj pock er) NOUN. An annoying but endearing creature. Or is it endearing but annoying? Either way, you want to smack them, but can't because they are too Goddamned cute.
Like the cutest, fluffiest little kitten who keeps climbing up your legs and back with his needle-sharp claws to sit on your shoulder and purr.

Her- "How did he get stuck inside the piano?"
Him- "How? He's a hedgehog, that's what they do, look for dark places to curl up and sleep. And take a crap."
Her- "HE CRAPPED INSIDE MY PIANO!?"

(He pulls him out of the piano).

Him- "Sorry about that. Yeah, in't he a cute little snodgepocker?"
Her- "Ohhh... look at that little nosie!"
Him- "So... should we keep him, or call the Humane Society?"
Her- "He's making little piggy noises! We can't just give him away!"
Him- "So, what do you want to name him?"
Her- "Fluffy. Either Fluffy, or Shithead."
Him- "Welcome to the family, Shithead."
Her- "Can I hold him?"
Him- "Get your own damn hedgehog."

(she stands, staring.)

Him- "Shouldn't you be cleaning the shit out of your piano?"
Her- "I changed my mind about his name. I think he's more of a Fluffy."
Him- "Fluffy it is. Welcome to the family, Fluffy."
Her- "From now on, YOU'RE the one I'm calling Shithead."
Him- "There you go, sweet talkin' me again."
Her- "Just hand over the goddam hedgehog, Shithead."
Him- "OK. Here. Careful."

(He puts the hedgehog in her hands).

Her- "OW! Ow! What the fuck?! I am bleeding! You little fucker!"
Him- "The spines are sharp."
Her- "Ja think!?"
Him- "I told you to be careful."
Her- "He's grunting! What does that mean?"
Him- "It means he's hungry. I'll get him some food."
Her- "Oh, no you're not. I'M getting Fluffy's food. Aren't I , Fluffy? Fluffy says yes."
Him- "I'm coming along."
Her- "No, Fluffy says that Mr. Shithead should stay here to clean Fluffy's crap out of my piano. Doesn't he? Yesss he does."
Him- (grumbling) "Fucking hedgehog always takes her side."
by Maxhole June 23, 2009