A sexual act involving a yard gnome used as both a vaginal and anal dildo. Usually used while a girl is on her period, but to give a true dirty yard gnome the woman has to also have a case of diarrhea.
Guy 1: Man, my girlfriend is into some freaky things.
Guy 2: That's not a bad thing right?
Guy1: Normally no, but this chick asked for a Dirty Yard Gnome.
When you go above and beyond a normal FAIL.
To truly experience a crescendo of suck you must fail so badly that you will hear a large swelling of noise, usually the sound of people gasping or laughing.
Sports fan: Man if this team doesn't start pulling it together I am gonna give up on them
Sports fan 2: I know man, I can already hear the crescendo of suck.