1 definition by macaroniiiiiiica

Jordan

jordan is a king among men. he’s like the brad pitt of his generation. everyone he meets wants to suck his dick. those that are lucky enough to actually be allowed this privilege almost have a heart attack at the sight of his massive massive gigantic penis. if he deems you worthy of actual real-life sex, you’d better be prepared, because he knows what he’s doing. he’ll fuck your mcfuckin brains out. he’s sexy as hell and could literally get whatever he wanted by seducing whoever he needs to get it from. his eyes are gorgeous and perfect and mesmerizing, his hair always looks perfect even when he thinks it’s a disaster bc he’s oblivious to how attractive he is. he also could be a stripper or a firefighter based solely on appearance and strength. but also he’s smart and clever and curious and has a million incredible ideas all the time and it’s so cool to hear all of them :)) is there anything he could do to be more perfect? definitely not. except maybe kiss his girlfriend (who is the luckiest person in the universe) 10 times more. if you end up with a jordan, make sure you never lose him!!!!

girl #1: holy shit did you see that guy
girl #2: yeah what the FUCK he was sexy as FUCK oooooh i’d let that jordan paint me in marshmallow cream then lick it all off
girl #1: .....
girl #1: you fuckin right, let’s get it
girl #3 (probably named veronica): bitches better back tf off my man, good idea tho

by macaroniiiiiiica October 29, 2018