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little-miss can't do wrong's definitions

Glove Puppet

YOU... when you just wanted to catch a flight & a man with enormous knuckles performs a cavity search.

Maximum points for screaming 'KERMYYYYYY!!!!!' with a Miss Piggy voice at half time.
Flew to London to take the Orient Express to Istanbul, but thanks to a Glove Puppet at JFK I couldn't sit down until Vienna.
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Your wheels are turning!

Somehow or another someone's being annoying with a car. It really doesn't matter why, because deep down they are so in love with their box on wheels that you can employ their ego to assert their downfall.

It can be rather satisfying to enjoy this as a driver, however it can be significantly more satisfying as a passenger. For best results, look terrified!
They: driving/acting like a chump
You: shout 'Your wheels are turning!', whilst pointing at one of their wheels
They: panic & pull over
You: 'Heh heh heh...' FTW'
Your driver/passenger(s): 'you rock'!
by little-miss can't do wrong September 10, 2011
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EntrepreNERD

An enterprising individual, whose superior technical ability often clouds the presentation to 'normal people' of an otherwise inspiring solution to a frequently infuriating problem.
Steve: "If you just tweak this bit of code, then..."
Human: "Dude! You're such an EntrepreNERD. How DID you know that?"
Steve: "RTFM"

(Note: The use of the name 'Steve' is not directed at a specific individual, but the name does crop-up so frequently in IT, it's uncanny...)
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Export

An export is a pint sanctioned by a beloved local. Unlike a regular pint, this one is endorsed by the pub, who are entirely happy that you take it home with you, glass and all.

It must be noted that with power comes great responsibility. The glass must be returned within a 24 hour period, lest said privileges be revoked.

Should a member of staff ever question the loyalty of an export beneficiary, his/her door keys must be offered to whomever asks, with an invitation to check said home for unreturned glasses. If a single pub glass is found, said folk be barred for a month.
You: 'What time are you closing tonight?'
Host: 'In twenty minutes'
You: 'May I have a pint now… and an export for later?'
Host: 'Certainly'
by little-miss can't do wrong September 9, 2011
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Family look best in photographs

An ancient Greek proverb noting the momentary lapse between discomfort and comedy, between estranged family members when a camera lens watches over them like the legacy they yearn to create for themselves.
Photographer: 'Say: Family look best in photographs'
Family: '? 0........1........2'
Photographer: (pauses until the family realise no ancient Greek proverb could involve a camera)........CLICK
Family: '........4........5........applause :)'
by little-miss can't do wrong September 10, 2011
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Cheeky Beer

That most glorious of things: a beer at an otherwise inappropriate moment with a dear friend.
You/they: 'Fancy a Cheeky Beer?'
They/you: 'I really ought to get back to work, but for you my sweetness… We'll make an exception!'
by little-miss can't do wrong September 10, 2011
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DICK?

Drunk In Charge (of a) Keyboard?

When you get woken up by an SMS at random o'clock & it's clearly from a drunk person. Rather than try to decipher it, simply reply: DICK? If they are, they'll know you aren't.

This used to require a computer keyboard, although those nifty little smart phone things are inspiring a revival (also known to affect to e-mail etc., especially during the early hours of Saturday & Sunday mornings)
Drunk person*: "I really, really, love you!!!" (etc.)
You: "DICK?"
Drunk person*: "Ah... Sorry! Had a few too many shandies..."
You: "Still a DICK?"

*: he/she who probably explored a little DUI beforehand & almost certainly will have a stinking hangover afterwards.
by little-miss can't do wrong October 16, 2010
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