Denver, and Colorado in general, is a large black hole
(hence the lack of oxygen in the air), and once you've lived there long enough, you can never truly get away.
Those who move away usually end up coming back in 1-3 years, despite themselves.
*Denver has the highest alchohol consumption rate in the USA. Or something along those lines. We're all too wasted to remember exactly.
Sally, I thought you moved to the East Coast? Back in Denvoid already, eh? Let's go get some beer.