4 definitions by johnny crap

Top Definition
A self-proclaimed social conservative, a self-proclaimed Christian, the staunchly anti-gay Republican senator from Idaho who was arrested in June 2007 at the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport for soliciting sex from an undercover MALE police officer, in a BATHROOM stall. Check out the hilarious Washington Post article about the incident.
According to the police report, Craig spread his wobbly legs real wide, played footsie from under the stall partition and also stuck his liver-spotted left hand under the wall – clearly showing the wedding band on his ring finger – supposedly a result of his marriage to a female. Craig pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct but pleaded not guilty to soliciting sex from another person.
All in all, this is a case of another moral crusader who likes nothing more than a quick turd punch while he waits for a connecting flight. No reports as to why the good senator chose Minneapolis as the locale for his activities. After all, most of us use Amtrak restrooms for these frivolities. Adding to the humor of it all, the great crusader has stated that this is all a gross misunderstanding and that he simply has a very wide stance when he goes to the bathroom. That seems plausible to me, considering the copious amounts of conservative crap he drops on the senate floor and in the media. Anyone with that much shit in them needs to spread those legs really wide, to ensure a complete dumping of feces. Take a quick look at this dweeb's face. You know he loves to choke on a penis. The wonderful Christian was booked, fined, and sentenced to a year of probation. If I were him, I would violate the probation, in the hopes of being actually arrested, spending some time in jail, and increasing my odds of scoring some man-love – and then blame it all on a big, black, Bubba of a cellmate, a tactic not unfamiliar to Republican legislators - see Bob Allen. I hope these hypocrites finally come out of the closet and lead the next Pride Parade.

Larry Craig - a Republican windbag, a Christian politician who spews anti-gay venom, inspired by fucktards such as Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson but at the end of the day, they love nothing more than gagging on a beefy, deeply veined man stick.
I was in a public rest room yesterday and this big hefty guy groped my ass. he went all Larry Craig on me. I asked him if he was a Republican senator from Idaho!

Once in a while, advances made by gays can be flattering even to a straight male - but no one wants a Larry Craig around, especially when one is emptying ones bowels.
by johnny crap August 28, 2007
An unfortunate and premature ejaculation by a male, usually out of sheer excitement and sexual arousal, and also due to any lack of self control whatsoever. This condition is commonly found in adolescent, pre-teens, teens, adults, middle aged, and older men. Prejaculation leads to feelings of embarrassment, anger, and hostility towards ones self, as well as the sexual partner. Prejaculation is also known to have detrimental effects on emotional and future physical intimacy. Prejaculation among straight males usually causes their female sexual partners to gossip among other kindred females, commiserate, ridicule the men in question, and buy more dildos. Prejaculation among gay men typically leads to peals of laughter and semen cascading down buttock cheeks.
Dude, I was watching some midget porn on the internet last night and playing with my man and the boys and I totally prejaculated! Gotta buy a new keyboard!

Wife/girlfriend: Honey, can you please not fondle your genetalia as we pretend to foreplay? You know you have a history of prejaculation.
Husband/boyfriend: Can you PLEASE not remind me of that? I have self-esteem issues as it is!!
by johnny crap August 30, 2007
A euphemism for a man's penis (man) and his testicles (the boys). It is advisable to use this euphemism when referring to an erect penis and shriveled set of scrota. In a reversal of this condition (with a flaccid penis and an engorged set of scrota), the "man" looks more like an "old man."
Got into a bar fight last night. That Asian kid went all kung fu on me, until I kicked him in his man and the boys!

Those pants are way too tight. Definitely queer. Why, I can see the outline of your man and the boys!
by johnny crap August 30, 2007
Roots: Ebonics.
Primary usage: African Americans, white Americans who want to be cool.

A combination of words bitch and business. The word could be a sly way of calling someone a bitch while ostensibly telling them to mind their own business.
That fat cow from HR kept prodding me about my past employment records and if I had any convictions. Finally I had to tell her that it was none of her bizyatch! Needless to add, I am still seeking gainful employment.
by johnny crap August 28, 2007

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