johnjf's definitions

Kansas City Royals

A team that has won one World Series, but due to the massive inferiority complex of the fans towards the St. Louis Cardinals, this fact is mentioned more than the ten Cardinals World Series wins (including 2006) combined.

Cardinal fan: So I see that the Kansas City Royals are in last place again. I hear that so-and-so from USC would be a good number one pick for you guys, though.
Royal fan: Remember '85.
Cardinal fan: No, I do not remember 1985, seeing as I wasn't born, and you were not born either.
Royal fan: Remember '85.
Cardinal fan: Okay, fine, take 1985. The Cardinals have won ten championships. Nine more than you guys have.
Royal fan: Remember '85.

by JohnJF January 18, 2009

will smith

An unoffensive black man whose popularity with suburban white kids/housewives is only equaled by Wayne Brady. Later in his career, he established himself as a decent actor but may be ultimately remembered best for inoffensive pop-rap (even my mom told me I could listen to him growing up, but I wasn't that big of a pussy) and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", which is kind of like the Cosby Show, except it was only watched by white people.

Will Smith is a castrated version of Ice-T and Ice Cube.

by JohnJF April 10, 2008

Baracknophobia

The irrational fear of hope. Refers to Barack Obama. Usually refers not to policy differences with Barack Obama but to believing unproven Internet rumors (that he's a Muslim, that he wants to enslave white people, etc.).

"I don't have Baracknophobia. He's a Muslim!"--Anonymous Grandmother

by JohnJF June 20, 2008

Jesus

A man who, like Selena, was a good and talented person who unfortunately has a crappy fan club.

"Jesus is just all right with me."-Doobie Brothers

by JohnJF February 17, 2008

Barack Hussein Obama

Illinois Senator/Presidential candidate Barack Obama. Usually, the "Hussein" is added by critics (conservative politicians, Fox News, the people of West Virginia) to draw parallels with Saddam Hussein.

Barack is actually named after his father, Barack Hussein Obama Sr., who was born before the Iraqi leader. Hussein is actually a very popular Arabic name which means good or handsome. The Hussein is often used to fuel the omnipresent "Secret Muslim" rumors, which is ironic since Saddam was a secular leader.

"Did you know that his full name is Barack Hussein Obama?"--Steve Doocy, multiple times.

"I don't like the Hussein. I've had enough of Hussein!"--some West Virginia voter that was aired on many newscasts.

by JohnJF August 15, 2008

supertramp

A band consisting of the ugliest men to ever live on Earth.

It's a good thing Supertramp had such good music, or they would have never gotten laid.

by JohnJF April 21, 2008

New England Patriots

To become very popular as a result of (retarded) post-9/11 sentiments due to your title, be caught breaking the rules by illegally taping private information, and then become resented far later than it should take by gullible Americans. Also called a "George W. Bush."

The New England Patriots are cheating cunts.

During his term in office, George W. Bush pulled a New England Patriots.

by JohnJF February 17, 2008