johnjf's definitions

Baracknophobia

The irrational fear of hope. Refers to Barack Obama. Usually refers not to policy differences with Barack Obama but to believing unproven Internet rumors (that he's a Muslim, that he wants to enslave white people, etc.).

"I don't have Baracknophobia. He's a Muslim!"--Anonymous Grandmother

by JohnJF June 20, 2008

Jeff Gordon

A NASCAR driver hated by its core fan base for being articulate, good-looking, talented, tolerant of minorities, better than Dale Earnhardt. Jr (see Redneck Jesus), and the man most often used to market NASCAR outside of the Confederacy.

"I hate Jeff Gordon. Whoo Junior!!!!!!!!!!!!"

by JohnJF February 17, 2008

through the fire and flames

A song by DragonForce that epitomizes everything that is wrong with rock music at this time. Because of its presence in Guitar Hero III (and its unprecedented complexity), some have construed it as a good song. This effect has also made genuine rock classics (Sunshine of Your Love, Smoke on the Water, Paranoid) seem inferior, when they are actually just more pleasing to listen to.

Person 1: I can beat Through the Fire and Flames on Expert! I rule!

Person 2: Congratulations, you can use a guitar-shaped video game controller to hit a lot of buttons and as a result, crappy music comes from the TV. What an accomplishment!

by JohnJF April 11, 2008

Kansas City Royals

A team that has won one World Series, but due to the massive inferiority complex of the fans towards the St. Louis Cardinals, this fact is mentioned more than the ten Cardinals World Series wins (including 2006) combined.

Cardinal fan: So I see that the Kansas City Royals are in last place again. I hear that so-and-so from USC would be a good number one pick for you guys, though.
Royal fan: Remember '85.
Cardinal fan: No, I do not remember 1985, seeing as I wasn't born, and you were not born either.
Royal fan: Remember '85.
Cardinal fan: Okay, fine, take 1985. The Cardinals have won ten championships. Nine more than you guys have.
Royal fan: Remember '85.

by JohnJF January 18, 2009

will smith

An unoffensive black man whose popularity with suburban white kids/housewives is only equaled by Wayne Brady. Later in his career, he established himself as a decent actor but may be ultimately remembered best for inoffensive pop-rap (even my mom told me I could listen to him growing up, but I wasn't that big of a pussy) and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", which is kind of like the Cosby Show, except it was only watched by white people.

Will Smith is a castrated version of Ice-T and Ice Cube.

by JohnJF April 10, 2008

New England Patriots

To become very popular as a result of (retarded) post-9/11 sentiments due to your title, be caught breaking the rules by illegally taping private information, and then become resented far later than it should take by gullible Americans. Also called a "George W. Bush."

The New England Patriots are cheating cunts.

During his term in office, George W. Bush pulled a New England Patriots.

by JohnJF February 17, 2008

supertramp

A band consisting of the ugliest men to ever live on Earth.

It's a good thing Supertramp had such good music, or they would have never gotten laid.

by JohnJF April 21, 2008