22 definitions by jethrojones

Top Definition
People who are so important, and godlike, that everybody within 100 miles of them should stop what their doing, stop breathing and simply disappear off the face of the Earth forever and ever. Their lives are incredibly important. Cell phone assholes should be put on Death Row and made to hear cell phones ring 24/7 until they're fried.
Vrin to cell phone user: Shut the fuck up NOW you cell phone asshole or I'll put you in my chipper/shredder and feed your chum to my goldfish.
by jethrojones November 15, 2007
When a woman becomes very excited to the point where her love nectar shows on the outside of her pants.
Vrin: I couldn't believe Sally Sue when she came home from her job interview.
Jadu: How dat?
Vrin: She said the guy inteviewing her was a real turn on and when she got up, the interviewer told her to go to the bathroom and attend to her nookielear fallout. She was real embarassed and almost threw up on the guy.
by jethrojones November 15, 2007
Behavior that is associated with cell phone users. Symptoms noted are talking aimlessly about nothing when conversing live with another person, deathlike appearance, selfishishness, delusions of grendeur, bleeding mouth syndrome, incurable diarhhea of the brain, "I'm so beautiful" syndrome, and "My life is so way important can't you see" syndrome.
Vrin: What happened to Sally Sue. She's in a nursing home.
Jadu: Why?
Vrin: She was permanently committed by society because of her cell phone behavior. Doc took away her cell phone. She's in restraints now and had her mouth permanently sewn shut.
by jethrojones November 15, 2007
When the babe you're engaged in serious foreplay with goes into kitchen and you notice major sauce leakage from her nookie area on your new leather couch.
Vrin: Damn, Sally Sue had a nookielear spill on my new leather sofa last night.
Jadu: How man?
Vrin: We were just foolin around on the couch and she was getting real excited, and left a third of my sofa covered in her liquid excitement.
Jadu: You okay?
Vrin. Kinda. I called the store where I bought it and they said they can't accept nookielear stained sofas anymore.
Jadu: Bummer man.
by jethrojones November 15, 2007
A Mclipo Meal is when McDonalds patrons get tableside liposuction while they eat their Super Size burgers and fries. They feel guilty about eating the burger and fries but are pleased to hear the lipo machine sucking out their fat as they gorge. Good for McDonalds becasue there is no more guilt for them or the customer. Customers then usually get up to 2-3 more Mclipo meals at one sitting and everyone's happy. Its fachionable too. You can get pink or blue suction tubes. The fat can be recycled too. They simply then add the fat to the french fry machine and everyone's happy.
Vrin: Man look at that woman. She's got 4 double cheeseburgers, 3 fries and 2 shakes.
Jadu: Dang. She's good to go though. She got the Mclipo Meal.
by jethrojones February 17, 2009
Hamburger parents. Parents that give in to all of the demands of their li'l precious ones and then wonder WTF happened? Clueless and run thru their "loving" kids' own peresonal parent shredders, they continue to drift aimlessly thru parenthood lost in the daily grind. Result: hamburger parents.
Hey Fred, "Look at those rude kids."
"Yup." "They were brought up by their hamburger parents."
by jethrojones August 09, 2012
A person that is simply a complete waking and sleeping asshole. 24-7-365. This commited "dildo" is recognized by their rudeness, "I'm so very special" syndrome, ongoing constipation, and leaking cell phone mouth disease. These folks don't get it and never will. Their condition is ongoing and largely irreversible.
Vrin: Look at that jerk. He's announcing his farts while walking down the wedding aisle with Suzy, even asking her to lift his leg as he aerates for maximum tone and volume.
Jadu: What a chronic dildo.
Vrin: You can say that again. He even asked his future mother-in-law to sample his offering and she gave him a big 2 thumbs up.
Jadu: They're both chronic dildos.
Vrin: You can say that again.
Jadu: They're both chonic dildos.
by jethrojones August 13, 2012
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