12 definitions by ilikesoup
Easily the largest community of officers in the United States Navy, SWOs drive ships, launch missiles, oversee safety procedures, control the public affairs outlook of ships, plan tactics, conduct safety inspections, make sure the engines are running smoothly, stand watches, maintain weapons caches, ensure smooth power flow, throw everyone around them under a bus so they can sleep and/or get promoted, cry nonstop, attempt to commit suicide but fail because they have absolutely no energy, and much more. Basically, they do everything on a ship with the notable exceptions of: sleep, have free time, and enjoy their life.
Despite the financial, educational, and prestige incentives, the Navy has an extremely difficult time retaining SWOs because their lives suck so badly. It's generally the last choice of designators, filled by people who either have to serve in the Navy because it paid for their college, or lunatics who volunteer to be a SWO and almost immediately regret their decision.
Despite the financial, educational, and prestige incentives, the Navy has an extremely difficult time retaining SWOs because their lives suck so badly. It's generally the last choice of designators, filled by people who either have to serve in the Navy because it paid for their college, or lunatics who volunteer to be a SWO and almost immediately regret their decision.
Navy Pilot: Hey guys, wanna go to a bar after work?
Intel Officer: Sure!
SEAL Officer: Sounds like a good idea.
Supply Officer: I'm in.
Public Affairs Officer: Definitely!
Surface Warfare Officer: After work? Work never stops...ever...(cries)
Intel Officer: Sure!
SEAL Officer: Sounds like a good idea.
Supply Officer: I'm in.
Public Affairs Officer: Definitely!
Surface Warfare Officer: After work? Work never stops...ever...(cries)
by ilikesoup March 12, 2011
This is mind over matter; when somebody believes that something will happen to his health, it does even when it wouldn't have otherwise. This generally happens when doctors tell patients that their health will improve even though there's no logical reason to believe that; the patients' optimism then helps heal them.
The doctor gave Jimmy sugar capsules and told them it would cure his headaches; it did even though the capsules didn't do anything. Classic placebo effect!
by ilikesoup February 17, 2010
Acai is a berry native to South America that is pretty healthy, but hasn't been scientifically proven to be any healthier than many other types of berries, such as blueberries, raspberries, or blackberries. However, since many gullible people have never heard of acai berries, they jump at ridiculous advertisements which claim their acai berry extracts will help them lose weight. Incidentally, many of the companies selling these extracts are pyramid schemes.
Fat woman: I can't lose this excess belly fat! I've tried everything except for a sensible diet and exercise plan. What ever should I do?
Snake oil salesman: Have no fear! For only $299.99/month plus shipping and handling, you can order some acai berry extract!
FW: Does it work?
SOS: Yes.
FW: Can you prove it?
SOS: Yes.
FW: Sounds good to me! How do I sign up?
Snake oil salesman: Have no fear! For only $299.99/month plus shipping and handling, you can order some acai berry extract!
FW: Does it work?
SOS: Yes.
FW: Can you prove it?
SOS: Yes.
FW: Sounds good to me! How do I sign up?
by ilikesoup March 12, 2011
DD Palmer, the first chiropractor, decided that all problems with the human body, from neck pain and headaches to head colds and poor eyesight, were caused by a misalignment in the spine, or a subluxation. Although there is no credible scientific proof that remotely supports this in any way, this is the basis of the chiropractic industry and the logic used to scare patients and secure billions of dollars each year. If you hear this term being used by somebody claiming to be able to help your health, run far away.
Patient: My neck hurts.
Chiropractor: You have a subluxation! I'll crack your back for 2 minutes and charge you $30. And keep on coming back!
Patient: Did you hear that Molly slipped on the ice and cracked open her head?
Chiropractor: Oh no! Clearly she has a subluxation! Have her come in, and tell her to bring $30!
Chiropractor: You have a subluxation! I'll crack your back for 2 minutes and charge you $30. And keep on coming back!
Patient: Did you hear that Molly slipped on the ice and cracked open her head?
Chiropractor: Oh no! Clearly she has a subluxation! Have her come in, and tell her to bring $30!
by ilikesoup February 16, 2010
That gym teacher has a college degree? All he does is yell, sweat, and make us watch bad sports movies.
by ilikesoup February 23, 2010
Commonly abbreviated MLM, it's a form of selling a product whereby one person recruits other salespeople, who recruits other salespeople, ad nausea and after each sale, everybody above the salesman gets a small piece of commission. To make money in one (98%+ of people don't), one should place much more emphasis on recruiting than sales. Amway is probably the most well-known MLM.
Many MLMs have "optional" national meetings, motivational books and tapes, and other various expenses. The cost of these comes out of pocket of the individual. As a general rule, if you can be one of the first people to join a successful MLM, you'll make a lot of money, especially if you can sell all of this crap to your downline. However, if you're not in this lucky 1-2%, you'll honestly be lucky to break even in your expenses.
There is some technical difference between a pyramid scheme, which is illegal, and an MLM, which is legal. However, nobody but the high-priced lawyers which keep MLMs in business and stealing the money of its starry-eyed employees seem to know what this difference is.
Many MLMs have "optional" national meetings, motivational books and tapes, and other various expenses. The cost of these comes out of pocket of the individual. As a general rule, if you can be one of the first people to join a successful MLM, you'll make a lot of money, especially if you can sell all of this crap to your downline. However, if you're not in this lucky 1-2%, you'll honestly be lucky to break even in your expenses.
There is some technical difference between a pyramid scheme, which is illegal, and an MLM, which is legal. However, nobody but the high-priced lawyers which keep MLMs in business and stealing the money of its starry-eyed employees seem to know what this difference is.
There are too many Multi-Level Marketing organizations to count. After one is shut down by bankruptcy or the government, two new ones sprout from the ground.
by ilikesoup March 12, 2011
A public university located in the small town of Oxford, Ohio, Miami University is a fairly large school that is often confused with University of Miami (located near the Florida city). Its athletic teams are known as the Redhawks and play in the Mid-American Conference, or MAC. A very high proportion of the student body belongs to a fraternity or sorority, which is somewhat unusual amongst Midwestern universities.
Miami supporters like to claim that it's a public ivy, and while there is a credited list of public ivies, it's fairly large and includes Ohio State University among dozens of others. Miami supporters also like to claim that Miami is the best public university in the state of Ohio; however, OSU is much better-known and consistently ranks above it in practically every college ranking publication. Most people outside of academia or the state of Ohio consistently confuse this school with the one in Florida.
Despite the fact that Miami University is a public, i.e. comparatively cheap, university in a reasonably diverse state, its student body is unusually white and wealthy. Miami University is an above-average university, nobody can reasonably dispute this. However, its superiority complex is ridiculous; there's nothing wrong with being the second-best public school in one of the most populated states in the country.
Miami supporters like to claim that it's a public ivy, and while there is a credited list of public ivies, it's fairly large and includes Ohio State University among dozens of others. Miami supporters also like to claim that Miami is the best public university in the state of Ohio; however, OSU is much better-known and consistently ranks above it in practically every college ranking publication. Most people outside of academia or the state of Ohio consistently confuse this school with the one in Florida.
Despite the fact that Miami University is a public, i.e. comparatively cheap, university in a reasonably diverse state, its student body is unusually white and wealthy. Miami University is an above-average university, nobody can reasonably dispute this. However, its superiority complex is ridiculous; there's nothing wrong with being the second-best public school in one of the most populated states in the country.
High School Senior 1: I'm pretty excited, I just got into Miami University!
High School Senior 2: Cool, I'm going to OSU in the fall.
HSS1: Dude, that sucks! I'll be going to a public ivy whooo!!!!
HSS2: WTF does that mean?
HSS1: That means it's the best school outside of Yale, MIT, Stanford, and Duke, dudebra!
HSS2: You realize that the ivy league is a sports conference; MIT, Stanford, and Duke are not in it, right?
HSS1: Look nerdbra, look at the college rankings! You're just jealous!
HSS2: I just looked up the US News and World Report. OSU: 53. Miami: 77.
HSS1: Look nerdbra, you're just jealous that you won't get to party with my frat bros, bra!
HSS2: This is getting ridiculous. I'm gonna go study for my AP test.
HSS1: Nerd!!!!!
High School Senior 2: Cool, I'm going to OSU in the fall.
HSS1: Dude, that sucks! I'll be going to a public ivy whooo!!!!
HSS2: WTF does that mean?
HSS1: That means it's the best school outside of Yale, MIT, Stanford, and Duke, dudebra!
HSS2: You realize that the ivy league is a sports conference; MIT, Stanford, and Duke are not in it, right?
HSS1: Look nerdbra, look at the college rankings! You're just jealous!
HSS2: I just looked up the US News and World Report. OSU: 53. Miami: 77.
HSS1: Look nerdbra, you're just jealous that you won't get to party with my frat bros, bra!
HSS2: This is getting ridiculous. I'm gonna go study for my AP test.
HSS1: Nerd!!!!!
by ilikesoup February 16, 2010